Matinées Of My Life

A serene Christmas

2011-12-24T05:24:00.007Z

I was sitting under my favorite spot under a tree by the lake in St Stephens Green park, watching the ducks and swans and pigeons. Breathing in the chilly winter morning mist was quite painful to the lungs, yet extremely refreshing.

Surrounded by the quiet serenity, I told God things that were on my mind, all the questions I have which never seem to be answered. I know I have been extremely caught up with life, and asked for forgiveness for all those times I brushed Him aside. Forgiveness which I do not deserve at all.

I took a few pictures then, and as I was looking through them in my camera when I got back home, God showed me His words through the photos, things which I never noticed earlier, and I can't help but smile at His way of talking to me.

Here's a few that I'd like to share...

Trust Him when dark clouds surround.

Trust Him when fearful doubts abound.

Trust Him when your strength may fail,

Trust Him when anxious thoughts assail.

Trust Him when His name you are barely able to call,

Trust Him when to simply Trust him is the hardest thing of all.

A man's mind plans His way, but the Lord directs His steps and makes them sure.

Proverbs 16:9

Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.

Colossians 3:20

When under trial, let no one say : "I am being tried by God." For with evil things, God cannot be tried, nor does He Himself try anyone.

James 1:13

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

Romans 12:2

Cast all your anxieties on Him, because He cares for you.

1 Peter 5:7

It is not for you to become acquainted with and know what time brings, or fixed years and seasons, which the Father has appointed by His own choice and authority and personal power.

Acts 1:7

Hmm....I don't think the photos do much justice to the beauty of His creations. Don't you think so too?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You know what,

someday,

I want to lie on my deathbed, knowing that I have

Lived.

Laughed.

Loved.

And that when I close my eyes and draw my very last breath,

I'd smile to myself,

Knowing that when I open my eyes once again,

I'll see God in all His wonderful amazing glory,

standing there with His arms wide open,

waiting for me with a big smile.

Someday.

Here's an all time favourite Christmas carol I loved since young - O Holy Night. Have a beautiful, blessed Christmas, wherever you are. I love you all.

Current Mood :

Time Zone GMT +00.00 Hour.

2011-12-23T03:19:00.000Z

T'was the night of Christmas Eve's Eve.

A cold, chilly winter night.

A freezing cold tub of ice cream.

Yet, a warm, beautiful smile.

2 Euro Haagen Daz ftw =)

Same time zone, ftw-er =D

Sorry for getting you teased and laughed at =)

Current Mood :

We could all use a little bit of cheer here and there

2011-12-07T18:24:00.004Z

You know, this is the first time in 6 years that I get to have an exam stress-free Christmas.

Finally.

Guess how I spent my last day of exam after the ENT paper =)

It's not much, but it does make me happy and warm and fuzzy inside.

Lying on that bed makes me feel like a princess =)

Current Mood :

=( =( =(

2011-12-04T03:00:00.006Z

Everyday since then, I come home to a sea of scattered poop and pee all over the living room floor.

There is something wrong with him and I know it. He's the most well-potty trained rabbit I know. This is not how he's supposed to be.

And it pains me seeing him the way he is now. If only I were there for him then and not let him out of my sight.

I could've prevented it.

And it makes me so mad to think what might have happened to him.

Or WHO might have caused it.

But then again, I have no one to blame but myself. Finger's on me.

I'm sorry baby.

Get better soon, please? ='(

I love you.

His snicky snacks. All left untouched ='(

Current Mood :

Decisions, decisions.

2011-11-03T10:24:00.006Z

Today, we had an Final-Year elective component briefing. So basically, this time next year, all 110 of us medical students will be jetting off to places all around the world for our hospital electives.

I'd love to work in Africa, Dubai, Madagascar, India, China, Hawaii, Monaco possibly 196 countries in the world. Some exotic and strange place. That's what little Rachel would want.

But I'm a grown woman now (grins). I'd want to experience working in a place that's completely out of my comfort zone. Someplace far, far away.

But peer pressure makes decision making hard.

They'd go:

"Why do you want to do your elective there? You're never gonna work there! so why'd you wanna waste time and money there?"

"You need recommendations! Do your elective somewhere where you can make connections!"

"Do something that will prepare you for your final year exams!"

"Do you even speak Hawaiian?"

"You'll get HIV!"

"Yer. Dirty!"

Lol. Super 现实.

But then again, this would be the only chance I'll ever get to work in a completely alien land (hospital) with people of completely different background and cultures.

On the other hand, they do have a point. We do need to prepare for the future. This isn't play time.

Sigh, if only I have all the time (and money) in the world.

And so, that brings me back to square one, where should I do my elective?

And here's another thought.

I don't really know what I want to do after med school. I love surgery more than medicine that's for sure, but I don't think I've really given much thought about other fields. They say we still have plenty of time and need not worry about it. Yes, true. But I guess now is the time to start considering options instead of simply jabbing a finger randomly and picking one. I'm a person who has her entire week(and months) scheduled in a diary book which is probably the next most important book after the Bible (I lost a diary once and went beserk many years ago, and I remember Ong Wai Wai found it for me! Thank you if you're reading this =P). I need plans. go haywire without one.

I guess I need to learn to put my trust fully in God. Trusting that He is the one who has the blueprints of my lifeplan and will make things work instead of snatching it away from Him.

Anyway, I found this really funny diagram on Facebook, probably drawn by some med student (med students are ALL about diagrams and flow charts lol).

Does it help me a little? Lol. Maybe.

Current Mood :

A thousand Years

2011-10-30T13:05:00.013Z

The worst thing that could ever happen to a person,

is losing the will to live.

When every ounce of hope is drained from that wretched person.

and that living body he's living in is no different from those corpses we have in the morgue.

All these sick people want is for someone to care for them and listen to them.

But I guess with whatever feeble voice they have left,

their cries would all be drowned out by the ambulance's sirens, beepings of ventilators and retching sounds of other poor wretched souls.

Sometimes as medical professionals, you get caught up with all the paper work, the protocols, the noise... that you forget what being a doctor is all about.

Now, I have no right to make any comments about anything. Afterall, I'm just a medical student. Our hierarchical position in the hospital is way below the toilet-cleaning janitors and amoeboids that are found on the hospital floors. So we're nobody. We're meant to be seen but not heard. Heck if possible, they'd have us all kicked out too. Bunch of pesky mosquitoes, we are.

But I watch, silently. With my head bent intently over my notes and case writeups. I have seen and heard things which left me feeling absolutely appalled, and frankly, you would be too if you were in my position.

Many a times I find myself silently screaming at them:

Hey you mister in that fancy suit, with the awful God-complex.

You're a doctor. Your job is to save lives.

And if you can't, the least you could do is to make their lives a little less painful, a little more worth living.

You don't tell a dying patient that he brought it on to himself.

Nor do you don't tell the families that you've done all you could when you bloody well didn't,

And you sure don't tell a patient that he does not deserve to live.

You have no right. Nor does anyone else.

Sheesh.

Sorry, was in the mood for a bit of ranting.

Now, how am I, you asked?

I'm doing fine, thank you very much if you were wondering. 4th year's !"£$%^%!snsd"£qi!!)$*, but that doesnt stop us from making the most out of it.

I quite like wearing scrubs. It means not having to worry/think about what to wear to the hospital everyday since I'm going to strip off everything in the changing room and put on nice clean comfy air scrubs anyway. Plus I love the OT. The air there seems fresher than the air we have in the wards or even outside the hospital.

It's hard to imagine that in about 20 months time, I'll be done with med school and will then be kicked out into this dog eat dog-and-everything-else-smaller-than-a-dog world. I don't think I'll ever be ready. I can't remember everything that I've studied. Heck, I can't even remember what I had for lunch yesterday. They should probably lock every medical student up in med school for about 10 years or so before releasing us. If only 10 years' enough for us to prepare ourselves for what is to come.

Have been cooped up in the hospital wards from 8am to 11pm for a week even on weekends, and frankly, that was the moment when it hit me: This is going to be my life for probably the next few decades or so. Or probably half a century if God permits. I wouldn't call it epiphany, I would say it's more of "reality friggin hurts". Well. This is what I have signed up for. So suck it up and go on with it. Not to discourage any of you reading this blog, but I guess it'll take more than a "I want to save lives I love science" to survive. You need willpower and a bucketload of sanity. Many a time I found myself sitting up, staring into space, wishing that I were someplace far off doing something else with someone else. Oh, and if you're thinking about $$, forget about it. It's clear that we'd be better of financially working as a janitor. Save yourself the 5 years and do something else, enjoy your life if money's what you're after.

Just a little time for yourself away from work does wonders.

Okay, time to switch to a non-medic related subject. Headed back to KL for a short trip to attend my parents' 25th anniversary thanksgiving dinner party. Cheers to you both, my dears =) You did a fine job raising three kids, and both of you are still looking good ;) (you know la what kids would do to you)

Oh, and what about that little bundle of fur I brought into my home not long ago? Well, he's doing fine... he's enjoying his life more than I'm enjoying mine, it seems. He's given the liberty of running around the place without being confined to a cage like every other rabbit on the planet. Plus he's toilet trained (proud mother here thankyouverymuch) Since then, he has assumed the role as the guard dog of my apartment and is darn good at it. So beware any one of you who's even thinking of breaking into my house. Again. This baby bites. Hard.

For some strange reason, he seems to like looking at photos of himself. Super vain!

It was a summer like no other =) Best one ever.

So that's it. I've gotta head back to work, am starting ENT rotation next week!

Have a great week ahead, everybody =) Love y'all!

Caesar Salad says: " OLA HUMANS~!"

Current Mood :

Another day to remember

2011-07-02T23:56:00.001+01:00

We'll make our own fairytale.

Current Mood :

=)

2011-06-28T16:01:00.001+01:00

Smiles - Connecting People

2011-06-01T08:42:00.011+01:00

As I walked past his table, I can't help but sense that someone was watching me.

Sure enough, peeking between my curtain of hair,

I caught him staring at me, oh so intently.

Never have I ever been stared at like that before.

And when he saw me looking at him, his face lit up with a smile so bright.

A twisted, crooked, almost sinister-looking smile,

yet so beautiful and radiant,

a smile I'd never forget.

I knelt beside him, and asked for his name,

He asked me whether I would be kind enough to help put on his shoes for him.

I didn't quite understand most of his words,

And I don't think he understood mine,

nor did I find out what happened to him in the past that led him to where he is right now with his condition.

But this I know:

Being born with cerebral palsy,

Life hasn't been a bed of roses for him,

And no one would ever ever call him beautiful.

But to be able to smile like that,

I think he's beautiful.

I sat next to him the entire morning, silently working on the pile of tubes the cerebral palsy people were supposed to work on.

But we didn't mind the silence. It wasn't awkward.

Smiling, that was the language we both understood well.

Most people don't realize this, but being born normal, is actually a miracle in itself.

BUT then again, who's to define what's normal, what isn't?

=')

Current Mood:

is not amused. At all.

2011-05-26T15:46:00.005+01:00

Humans. Lions. Bears. Eagles. Coyotes. Dogs. Cats. What do they have in common?

Well. You don't mess with the mothers by taking their young away from them without their knowledge or permission. In fact, you don't even touch them at all.

Unless you want to be mauled to death, of course.

Night.

Current Mood :

Everyone could do with a bit of Love

2011-05-14T17:02:00.004+01:00

'Hello darling, I'm your mother now'

Meet Caesar Salad.

My 7 weeks old baby all the way from Holland.

He's supposed to be a dwarf rabbit. But everyone says he looks more like a guinea pig than a rabbit.

And his fur's the exact same shade of brown as Timmy's. Which makes him so adorable. (I miss you Timmy =( )

He does nothing but eat and eat and poop and poop instead of doing bunny things like... well bunny things. My housemate thinks he's totally useless, but I see her sneaking him into her room and cuddling him more than I do.

His favourite sleeping position

It's been quite a while since I had something to love and cuddle.

Current Mood :

Relapse again ugh.

2011-05-09T00:40:00.000+01:00

Adui...

Well technically it's my fault.

I opened the Pandora box I told myself not to do so until I'm ready.

And this sudden gush of emotions and swing in mood is scaring me.

I don't want to be one of those people who drown themselves in work to mask their emotions anymore. God it's tiring.

I guess it takes time. But then I look around and everyone else seems fine. Why am I taking such a long time then?

Time to retreat back into that mind cocoon of mine for now.

God help? =(

Current Mood :

Everything will be fine tomorrow. Yes. It will.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Happy Mother's Day, Eleanor.

Thanks for being my mother when I didn't have mine with me.

How I miss your voice and smile =(

Hey Mother...

2011-05-07T15:11:00.009+01:00

When I was 10, I used to sit on your bed silently watching you put on your gown, earrings, heels and perfume, and I wondered whether I'd ever grow up to have that kind of beauty and elegance that you have.

When I was 20, I used to watch as Dad kiss you in front of everybody and hold your hand while walking, and I wondered whether I'd ever have that kind of love that you have.

Seems like I'm always wanting the things that you have. (Especially the clothes, I'd say =P)

And nowadays, I sometimes catch myself talking/acting in ways that remind me so much of you.

Perhaps I'm growing into mini you.

Does that mean that someday I will grow up(/old) to be just as awesome as you, mother?

Will my future daughter look up to me and love me just as much as I love you now? =)

Oh how I wish it would be so...

Happy 21st Mother's Day.

Miss you.

Current Mood :

She said "Crap". He said "Lol?"

2011-04-24T23:52:00.005+01:00

It's always nice having something to smile about everyday.

Be it a friendly or smiling patient,

Freshly made out-from-the-womb babies,

Charming winking surgeons,

A compliment from strangers,

Postcards in your mailbox,

Discovering forgotten cash in washed jeans,

An out of the blue hug,

Or someone telling you that you're being missed.

But then, it's rare to find that one thought/thing which makes you wake up smiling, even if you know you are waking up to a long and potentially bad day up ahead.

Well, she just found hers and is thanking God for it.

What's next though? =)

Current Mood :

She wants that smile and hug so badly.

Sometimes, there's just no need for words.

2011-04-18T15:52:00.002+01:00

A little twist to dear ol classical cello.

Didn't know that it'll go that well with beatboxing!

His enthusiasm is infectious. And I can't help smiling at them goofing around at the end of the song. =)

Your turn, little one.

2011-04-12T16:23:00.005+01:00

I remember that time. And how I had that same look.

Back then, I used to think how unfair it was. How angry I was then. And furious. And hurt. It was like working so hard for nothing. I wasn't even given a chance to prove myself. I sulked and promised that I would never be part of this horrible system in the future, nor would I put my kids through it either.

But in time, God gave me maturity to look past the present. And the gift of faith. I realized that I wasn't seeing the big picture, and was being bitter over something that was so insignificant. And looking at the blessings He's given me after, how silly I was. Now I'd like to believe that He has something much greater in store for me. Whatever it is, I learnt to let disappointments go, and just learn to trust.

So here's a little prayer for my dear Chris,

That whatever happens, as long as you try your best, and leave the rest to God.

And if you do get stuck halfway during your interview, well then you know what to do....

Just Smile.

Love you.

Current Mood :

Would you just lie with me and just forget the world?

2011-04-06T17:03:00.004+01:00

I've this sudden urge to just take my pillow to the beach and curl up on the sand and fall asleep. And I'd be back before anyone would even notice. Tempting, really.

There's always that one thing that soothes me

- Surreality.

That when life gets a little too... noisy,

There's this little magical cocoon in my mind for me to retreat into,

and what goes on in there, well...

Let's go to Neverland and never come back until forever ends

- Peter Pan : Return to Neverland

Current Mood :

A short update

2011-03-30T10:51:00.007+01:00

Greetings!

Things certainly are different now. The initial thrill of having the liberty to walk around in the hospital wards totally unsupervised, flipping open charts randomly and interrogating patients has started to wane. I'm starting to feel less like a student, and more as a working staff now. Of course, I'd be fitted right at the bottommost slot of the hospital hierarchy, together with other hospital staff such as the janitors, cleaners etc.

Bustling around from 8am to 5pm, sometimes till 7pm, is enough to sap out any little energy left. Most days, I come home from the hospital feeling happy and contented with the day's work. But there's one or two occasions of which I left the hospital feeling utterly horrible. Those times, I realized all it took was a nice warm hug, or even a friendly smile, that made the day bearable.

I'll admit, being busy does help a little in distracting me from certain thoughts and emotions I had. But lately I'm starting to find this wall of resistance slowly crumbling again. And there are times I find myself staring off into space with those thoughts swirling around in my mind, wishing that I'm somewhere far off. I call it Relapse.

Don't get me wrong. I'm happy, as always. But I guess I could be happier.

Always.

Current Mood : Ireland =)

Raincheck date.

2011-03-07T06:49:00.003Z

Somehow I can't help but picturing that as me, my husband, and my son.

Haha.

Someday.

Current Mood :

Sugar Plum Fairies Gone Wrong

2011-03-06T10:06:00.001Z

Sugar Plum Fairies Gone Wrong a photo by Ar'alani on Flickr.

You know how everytime, I'd bid goodbye on msn/skype/sms with a "dream of sugar plum fairies"?

Well, in my mind, they're really beautiful creatures with golden and silver dust, beautiful slender bodies and long flowing hair.

And in just 1 minute, Darren had to go ruin everything by showing me this picture.

GAH! YOU MUTILATED MY SUGAR PLUM FAIRIES!!!

Stand still.

2011-03-03T08:25:00.005Z

Ever felt a dream so real, so vivid, that it makes reality seem like a hazy dream instead?

And there's that certain part in your heart that aches to go back, to defy time and space, to be transported back to that same spot in time where it seems that anything could be possible.

I'm not afraid to dream. I'm just afraid to wake up to reality.

And I guess it is reality that I'd like to wake up from.

Current Mood :

2011-02-23T03:48:00.004Z

For 2 whole hours, I've been staring at my dad's empty office seat waiting for him to finish his meeting and come back.

To think in 24 hours time, I'll be able to hug and kiss him.

At least that's 1 happy thought.

Sigh.

I'm in denial. I'm staying awake just so that time will pass just a little slower.

And then come the questions : where is home? Is it where the heart is? But what if the heart is in a few places?

Ah well.

Current Mood :

Dance with me please?

2011-02-13T23:03:00.001Z

You know how they say that in order to get your mind off one thing, you should occupy yourself with 10 others? Well that's just what I'm doing. And I guess I'll be doing it for quite some time before I really get myself emotionally re-tuned. That's my forte afterall - blocking emotions =)

Valentine's here, btw =)

News about some Malaysian idiots believing that Valentine's Day is Christianity-related and hence needs to be banned really cracked me up. They certainly do make darn good clowns, don't they?

Still, they'll never take Love away =)

As for me?

Well, once again, like for the past 21 years, Valentine's will just be like every other day. I wake up, and give silent toast to all those celebrating it, and another toast to all those who, like me, would do nothing more but watch those people celebrating.

Today along Grafton Street, most of the men rushed past me carrying huge bouquets of flowers. When I passed by Brown Thomas boutique, I had a peek inside and found the place crowded with women of all ages doing manicures and pedicures and make up and having their hair done. All busy preparing themselves to look their best for that special day.

They look so happy. And somehow, I can't help but smile to myself.

Some day, perhaps? The time will come =)

The greatest thing you'll ever learn,

is just to love, and be loved in return

- Moulin Rouge

Here's to all you singles out there.

Here's to all you lovebirds out there.

Here's to Love.

Happy Valentines Day to all!

Current Mood :

And once again, the mind gags and silences the heart.

2011-02-07T02:58:00.008Z

Sometimes I wonder whether the younger, tomboyish, jeans and ponytail-only Rachel would actually imagine that someday, she'd actually become the Rachel I am today. Or would she even recognize herself? Hmm..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So 3 years in a row, I've been spending Chinese New Year abroad. Let's face it. Chinese New Year celebrations in Europe ain't the same as being in Malaysia. It's like any other day to be honest, and the fact that there isn't any Chinatown around in Ireland makes it even more dead. Well, unless you go to Asia Market and sit there, then maybe you just might hear Dong Dong Qiang songs.

What's up lately?

Well, I'm done with the sem's exams, that's one thing. This FML-exam has been just as excruciating as the previous ones for the past 2.5 years, if not more. But then, life after exams' sweet, which makes up for the horridness.

I've completed watching the west end musicals that's on my list, so I'm happy about that =) If I had my way, I'd probably watch one every single day after dinner =P

Here's a couple of the ones I've watched:

Riverdance

At first I couldn't imagine watching tap dancing for 3 whole hours. It's like watching patients having epileptic seizures for 3 hours. But it was so beautifully choreographed that 3 hours seemed like 1 hour. Legs were flying everywhere, but they were in perfect unison and timing. And there's a lady with this really hauntingly beautiful voice which made me wish I was in Ireland. And then I realized wait, I already am in Ireland.

Grease

This was my first musical, and hence when I say I was blown off my feet, I do mean I was blown off my feet. And mind too. The singing reminded me of High school musical (well, it is a high school setting afterall), but despite one or two who was a little flat/sharp, one can't help but love the whole dance routine and the clothes and the hair which probably was the "in" fashion for our parents. And as for the "Grease Lightning" scene where the bedazzled car vrooms out, it'll BLIND you. Summer lovin~oooh yeah

Lion King

I was at first a lil skeptical - how in the world will humans be able to pull off dancing and singing in animal costumes?? (I had in mind cheesy men in animal costumes waving and giving out balloons in fun fairs). Well, it didn't disappoint me at all, and my two favourite characters in the movie were so life-like! Timon and Pumba - the fat and skinny duo who go around eating grubs and singing Hakkunamattata =)

Les Miserables

Everyone was clapping so madly when Fantine sang the "I Dreamed a Dream". I was like "Oooh, so this is the Susan Boyle's song". This show has been running in London for what, more than 25 years? Love, revolution, war, prostitution, redemption, disparity between rich and the poor, etc... All this stuffed into the plot line + amazing effects (especially during the war scene), no wonder it's kept running for so long. My only regret was that I wasn't feeling too well when I was watching this. =(

Wicked

I admit, it never crossed my mind to watch Wicked initially. There wasn't much hype about this particular show. In fact, I only knew of its existence after seeing it in the underground. After watching the show, I realized I'd probably kill myself if I did miss this show. Wicked is by far the wickedest show I've ever see. And by wicked, I mean AWESOME! The set, the costumes, the choreographed dance numbers, the songs. And Alphaba's VOICE O.M.G. Plus, the fact that the main lead male single is one heck of an eye candy =P

Rachel's Rating : 9.5/10

Phantom of The Opera

I mean, seriously. Who doesn't know POTO????

One word - AMAZING. I wouldn't mind rewatching this. One of the best spent 25 pounds =)

Cirque Du Soleil - Totem

This isn't actually a musical. But it's just as awesome. It was so full that we had to get standing seats, which was just as good coz it gave us a bird's eye view of the entire stage set. New York, Las Vegas, Chicago, now London (they popped by Dublin with their Saltimbanco-themed production but I was away in Spain =( ) This show has a bit of everything - roller skating, gymnastics, acrobatics, clowns, juggling, etc - everything you'd expect in a circus, except made 10 times even more dazzling with amazing lightings, props and effects. They've a human disco ball and a huge tortoise shell as swinging bars! Though I can't help but notice some things - there's somewhat elements of bollywood bhangra dancing, and some of the performers seem like they came straight from China.

So there you are. West End, check. Next up, Broadway? =)

You can't just enough of musicals, seriously.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thought of the day :

It hurts everytime these things happen. Both ways I guess. You can't help but wonder if each decision was indeed what God wanted. Or was that just me and my stubborn wall of resistance deciding on behalf of God. I don't really know how to explain, and when I open my mouth, either words don't come out right, or nothing comes out at all.

I wish God will show me what's the best thing to do, or what he has in store for me. Because I really have no idea how much longer I'll remain like this.

Current Mood :

It's SIMPLE! Just SMILE with your eyes, mouth and SKIN!

2011-01-05T08:46:00.012Z

Good morning, y'all!!

Okay. So this morning (like, 10 minutes ago), I realised something.

I think the reason why I always tell people to keep smiling,

is because I've been using this facial moisturizer, Simple for years!

Can you see what it says?

Hehe!!!

Funny how I never noticed their packaging until today. Ran out of moisturizers and headed to Boots pharmacy before heading to the library to restock on a new bottle. And for the first time in these many years, I saw this - "Smile, it's Simple!"

Hey hey hey!!

Now I know what's the deal with me and smiles =D

Ahem

*Puts on fake high commercial girly voice with big gleaming 32-teeth smile while holding bottle next to cheek*

Simple's a really good brand, I'd recommend it to anyone. It's so simple, not like any of those gunky cosmetic products girls use nowadays. There's no perfume no colour no odor no chemicals. It's really soothing for the skin, especially during cold and dry winter weather or hot humid summer weather and ESPECIALLY for people like me who's eczematic skin would resemble corn flakes during times like these. Also, I realised after switching to Simple, my pimples are close to non-existent. It's so awesome! =D

*Inserts commercial girl giggle and flash another big 32-teeth smile*

Plus, it promotes SMILING!

I think I just found my Signature brand!!

Haha, seems like quite a good start to a day for me to do some serious work!!!

Hope you guys have an equally lovely day!

Peace out!

So, Smile guys, smile!

And it'll be the making of a beautiful day =)

Current Mood :

1.1.11

2011-01-01T00:04:00.009Z

He wrapped his arms around her, shielding her from the cold fingers of the chilly winter air

and the drizzle of snow powder falling lightly from the dark blue sky.

She rested her head on his shoulders and closed her eyes as he breathed hot, warm air down her neck.

He inhaled in that familiar light floral perfume of hers, which always send both his mind and heart into a frenzy.

And as the clock turned twleve, the crowd erupted in roaring cheers and songs,

and a shower of sparkly confetti mixed with snow rained down on the crowd.

There was utter chaos while everyone went wild with emotions.

Standing at the corner of the bridge, both man and woman held each other close.

She turned and looked into his eyes, smiling a smile that made his heart stop yet beat ever so fast at the same time. He returned her gaze with an equally scorching one that dug deep into her very soul.

What they shared together was so incomprehensibly deep and strong.

A very force of their very own.

No words were exchanged, but what his eyes spoke of was crystal clear to her:

"Happy new year darling. We made it. We made it through yet another decade. Here's to another decade being together. Just you and me, luv. I love you, and I always will and I'll never leave you alone, I promise."

A decade past. But there wasn't another decade together. He left her despite his promise.

She felt so alone, and bit by bit, something was eating her away from inside.

All she had left was fading memories of the love they once shared.

But she never ceased to smile her sweet old smile, because deep down,

she knows she'll be going home to him someday.

And she'll never be alone anymore.

I want that kind of love. Don't you?

Here's to a very blessed New Year 2011 to all you out there.

May there be love enough for everyone, and that no one needs to be alone.

Cheers =)

Current Mood :

On to the next stepping stone!!

2010-12-31T01:33:00.003Z

Some sunshine summer, smiles and vanity! =D

Dear Mr. 2010,

You've been an awesome and amazing and beautiful year. Thank you so so very much!! =)

True, not all bits were perfect. I've done things which I'm not proud of, and did some pretty stupid mistakes. But then again, these horrid bits are just as precious as the good bits. And as much as we try to make sense out of it, certain matters, especially matters of the heart will always be one big mystery and will take more than just one year to figure out =)

Hey Mr. 2011,

Honestly, I'm a little apprehensive for what you are to bring, but yet I look forward to your coming!

I don't like the prospect of having to hop onto the next stepping stone. I'm pretty comfortable the way I am right now. But at the same time, there's this incessant bubbling excitement in me, as well as the giddy hope that there is well, is indeed something, somewhere, or someone shiny and white out there waiting for me to discover =)

Be nice, please?

Now,

I'm no longer one who makes feckless attempts at coming up with resolutions at the end of each year. Notes with resolutions stuck on fridges tend to go missing (mostly under the fridge), or they become grocery lists... tsk tsk.

Maybe it works for you guys out there (and that's awesome! =D), but I realized a long while ago: why limit myself to 2/3 resolutions for 365 days?

This is what I do - make a daily resolution with God each night for the next day and pray about it. It reminds myself that it's not of my own will and power, but Big Daddy up there =)

Hmm, maybe okay, for old time's sake, I'll make state 1 resolution here. Just one to kickstart the New Year : -

Be grateful for every little thing (good or bad) in life =)

So what's yours?

Here's to all of you readers, family and friends out there.

May this year be filled with all the goodness and Love you can ever imagine!

I might not even know some of you reading this now, but it applies to you too =)

And please, always smile more! You will never know who's falling in love with your smile =)

And here's to you too, Mr 2011!

May you bring smiles more than tears, laughter more than sighs.

In times of tears and sorrow, may there always be hope, joy and Love.

And now, I shall return to my books, preparing myself for the gruesome ten-day exam in January. So I think you won't be hearing from me for quite some time. How about flipping through those dusty blog archives of mine? Somehow those seem to be more interesting that the things I write nowadays.

After that, who knows what's to come? =) Wait and see.

To all who's currently exam-free, have fun celebrating/counting down to the start of a new decade.

Love you all!!!

Current Mood :

Find me a star

2010-12-09T23:31:00.005Z

Do you remember when you were seven?

And the only thing that you wanted to do,

was to show your mom that you could play the piano

Ten years have passed,

And the one thing that lasts,

Is that same old song that we played along,

And made my momma cry.

Do you remember when you were fifteen?

And the kids at school called you a fool,

Coz you took the chance to dream.

In the time that's passed,

And the one thing that lasts.

Is that same old song that we played along,

That made my daddy cry.

I miss those days and I miss those ways,

When I got lost in fantasies,

In a cartoon land of mysteries,

In a place you won't grow old...

In a place you won't feel cold...

Under my feelings, under my skin,

Under the thoughts from within.

Learning the subtext of the mind,

See creation, how we're defined.

Seems I'm lost in my reflection,

So, find a star for my direction.

For the little girl inside who won't just hide,

Don't let me see mistakes and lies,

Let me keep my faith in my innocent eyes.

Smile =)

Current Mood :

Bring it on, Snow.

2010-12-07T03:13:00.007Z

Yesterday, I had my first fall on ice in Dublin

It was worse than any fall I had on skating rinks.

Early morning when I was rushing to church, I stepped on a spot of black ice and next thing I know, I was lying on my back on the hard slippery road. Utter embarrassment.

It started off with just a sore coccyx and the back of the head where it knocked the ground. But today? I'm bedridden 80% of the time. I think I twisted my neck and a muscle of my back, coz I can't seem to turn my head either ways without feeling like just leaving my head onto the table and lie there groaning in pain.

Ah well.

_____________________________________

Today, they finally decided to bring out the big bulldozers and shovel up all the snow.

And just when they assumed that the heavens are done with the whole snowing business, the heavens decided that they have not had enough fun yet =)

And so, it started snowing AGAIN. And it's still snowing.... Snowing.... Snowing.... Yep I just checked, still snowing.

Poor poor Irish government and their tax money.

So, I guess grass is not always greener on the other side afterall. While Malaysian government worry about flood, Irish government worry about snow and ice.

God is fair indeed. Hah.

It's still so beautiful =)

Current Mood:

Doors

2010-12-02T16:57:00.000Z

I guess I'm just not used to having doors being slammed in my face. Not with the hopes and the effort I put into.

And it's no use regretting nor wondering what it would have been if I were to realize the open door a little earlier.

I'm sure He has his ways.

I promised mom that I won't be sad.

So I will suck it up, move on and kick some other doors down.

One will open. Eventually.

Current Mood :

Snowy Night.

2010-11-27T04:21:00.007Z

Today is Friday night.

Dublin streets are filled with laughing Irish ladies tottering in high heels and drunk men in tuxedos.

The night is young and fun's just beginning.

Today is Friday night.

The night of RCSI's Annual Chocolate Ball, where guests are indulging in glittering dark brown and white chocolates and bathed in sparkling wine.

It's The Event. Everyone must be there.

Today is Friday night.

A flash of blue briefly illuminates the dark misty Irish sky. Everybody pauses to look up, surprised.

A soft distant rumble sends everyone on their way, with quickened pace.

It's getting too cold. Something's coming.

Today is Friday night.

End of a busy week for me, beginning of a busy weekend for me.

I must get home.

Today is Friday night.

Tomorrow is Saturday.

Forecast - Snow. Nice.

10.40pm

I walked back from the library. I saw a flash of blue in the sky and heard rumbling. I thought it was fireworks.

I frowned as I picked at a tiny hole in my glove, and cringed as the chill stung that unprotected bit of finger.

Shoving my hands into my pocket, I let out a long deep sigh and inhaled the white mist that emitted from my mouth. It was ice to my lungs, but it felt good.

Walking down the beautifully lit Grafton street with its christmas lights and trees, I imagined snow falling down from the sky. A busker was playing Killing Me Softly on his sax, and I could hear him right down the street.

Everything seemed so magical.

"Feckin hell!"

I whipped around, and there crouched a figure, rocking away with his head between his knees. I walked straight ahead but my eyes were fixed on that old man, his cardboard bed and his cup. He looked so sad and lost. But I didn't think twice. My dinner and homework was so much more important.

Coming home to a warm heater, a hot meal and cozy silk sheets is sheer bliss.

The house was dark, silent and empty. No one was home.

The blue lights flashed again and again.

It scared me, but yet it fascinated me.

I settled down to my work, and the night just passed by, far too quickly.

4.00am

The howl of wind was growing louder.

I felt lonely, and indeed I was alone.

And then it came.

First slowly, with a bit of pitter patter on the window sill.

And then it poured, and within minutes, everything was covered in a blanket of snow.

I smiled to myself, and decided that tomorrow I'll wear my nice furry boots to the library, maybe pick myself a cup of hot chocolate on the way.

And then came thunder. So loud like a drum. I dropped my pen and ran to the window.

The earth was soft and white, while the sky was glowing brown.

It was so beautiful, but then, I thought of something so much more depressing

I had 8 pillows and 2 blankets. That old man crouching by the Apple store just now? He will be having snow as his blanket.

I had my hot chocolate and furry boots, he has nothing.

Snow's brings joy to people like you and me, but it brings dread to people like them.

How does he, and every other homeless person in the world survive a weather like this?

Will he survive?

It's funny how it only occurred to me this late.

Current Mood :

Makeover.

2010-11-26T04:37:00.006Z

Yeah, it was necessary. Google chrome issued a warning page, stamping my blog as "Warning: Dangerous Malware Content Page". I had to quarantine my page, which means removing it from public view until I can troubleshoot the problem. And it took longer than I expected because well, I'm just too darn busy! Sorry if you thought I blocked you =)

___________________________________________________

You know, when I was young, I hated being called a nerd. Nerdism to me is only called for during exam periods, and isn't something to be proud of at all.

But ever since entering university, I realized that this so-called acute case of nerdism has in fact progressed into something much more chronic and serious - and it comes with kiasuness.

Hospitals from 9 to 5, and library from 6 to 11. I'd probably drive myself insane if it weren't for God, the company of my friends and well of course, a sprinkle of fun here and there.

But it wasn't till Nottingham Malaysian Games and RCSI-UCD Sports Day that I realized how severely infected I am by this nerdism disease.

I watched as the players fly back and forth across the courts. I watched as sweat dripped from their chins, the look of intense concentration on each of their faces. I cringed as they crumpled to the ground after being elbowed and pushed and slammed against, yet it seemed like the adrenaline that flows through their veins serve as some sort of powerful aesthetics, and they're up on their feet again sprinting after the ball.

I can't help but wish I was that kind of person. The player instead of the cheerleader. The one who falls and feel pain. Who celebrates their victory or mourn their defeat with sweat and tears.

Yeah, that's me and my cheerleading squad ^.^

Instead, I've always the girl carrying ice and water bottles for the players. The girl who stands on the bleachers screaming her lungs out, bandages injured players and sending them off with a kiss or a hug. I may be able to recite all the muscles of the body, but I am certainly not able to use any of those muscles like they do.

Maybe if my mom weren't that afraid of me breaking my leg of getting heatstroke. Or maybe if I insisted on taking up some kind of competitive sports instead of being comfortable with just sitting in class reading my comic book.

Ah well.

I'm a nerd. Haha.

There, I said it.

Nerd power.

* Photo credits to CK and Elijah

PS : Weather's extremely chilly by the way. Forecasted snow one of these days. Time to bundle up =)

Current Mood :

October, done.

2010-10-30T18:25:00.012+01:00

Here you go. Looks a little kinky, eh?

Two years ago, I received a pair of fishnet stockings for Christmas from BEAR. God knows why they thought I might actually find it useful in any situation (unless I plan to start working in a strip club or something). Nevertheless, it was an excellent addition to my dress-up collection (so far, it includes pink tights, shiny outer-space like 60s jackets belonging to my mom, a tri-coloured wig etc).

I had no idea what to do with them intially, because wearing it in Malaysia will brand you instantaneously as a member of the Seafood clan (lalah). But not wearing it will mean it'll go to waste, because there will come a time, when my thighs become the size of tree trunks, and will rip every single stocking's seam that I wear.

Then it hit me - Halloween. Perfectos.

Although, wearing this would mean that I would have no other choice but to end my 2-year-in-a-row "White Halloween".

You see,

1st year I was a fairy - angel,

pure and white.

Second year, I was a greek Goddess,

pure and white.

And so this year, with these fishnet stockings, I can't go pure and white anymore.

So what did I go as?

See how well your stockings go with the whole sluttier-art-thou look.

Though I wasn't sure exactly what I was.

a) A Pirate who lost her pirate hat? (truth was, I didn't want to spend 10 euros on just a stupid Pirate Hat which I probably will never ever wear again in my life)

b) Gypsy who lost her crystal ball (where on earth do you get a crystal ball anyway??)

c) Asian Moulin Rouge (she's actually a famous French prostitute, made popular by the TV film, Moulin Rouge. But, prostitute??)

Well, it's Halloween, so sure, being a virgin prostitute for a day is okay I guess =)

Anyway, Halloween was a nice break away from the usual routine -

7am wake up breakfast shower run for the bus sleep on bus arrive in hospital grab a danish pastry sit through 6 hours of lectures see patients smell patients hear patients scuttle out of big-shot doctors' way run for bus buy sandwich run to library study doze off facebook wake up slaps self study doze off go home meet drunk hobos on the way watch greys anatomy study pack bag print notes go to bed 2am.

Ever since third year started, my schedule's been practically filled with lecture after lecture, tutorial after tutorials, post mortems, pathology and microbiology labs, wards, etc etc. I would definitely say that it's so much more interesting than before, but it sucks the energy out of you faster than you can say "POOP".

But I'm thankful enough that although there is so much work to be done, we can still afford to have a lil fun around with friends.

Besides Halloween, the week has been pretty interesting so far:

Preet's 22nd birthday at Shans

Kching's birthday - Check out the outrageous costumes of these hot juniors of mine (I was still in sweatpants and sweatshirt -.-)

Octoberfest! 2010

Serene and Bavani's Open house.

Chin Lin and Yvonne's Birthday Party at FullHouse. Donald's using the cake as bait.

Me presenting a very chiong hei report during the PMCSA Annual General Meeting 2010. I realised how ah-ma I look with my chopstick-tied hair.

Paintball Match with UCD and PPIMI at Bray.

This was where I was shot in the head by a shooter hiding in the castle.

This paintball company (can't remember the name) in Bray has the most amazing sets I've ever seen. It's like, they converted the whole of FRIM into a paintball paradise.

An unburst paintball Bullet - small but lethal. Gave me pretty nasty bruises indeed.

Yet, Best. day. ever.

And finally, when bored, Taking random shots in between lectures:

Seeing these photos make my heart smile.

There are times when I get so tired of everything, but I guess there's always a silver lining to every cloud. I just need the patience to wait for it to appear. =)

Also,

I love my best friend =)

Current Mood :

Where's Peter Pan and Neverland? =(

2010-09-27T18:18:00.005+01:00

Today I woke up as a third year medical student.

Things ain't as simple as they were before anymore.

And already, I'm tired.

It's not even a day and I'm already dreaming of someplace far off.

Sigh.

I need your strength to pull me through, O Lord.

Current Mood :

Teenage Dream

2010-09-24T13:10:00.004+01:00

I'm in Greece, Baby!

Fact #1 : Sitting on a beach with crystal clear blue water.

Fact #2 : Waves pounding up against the rocks.

Fact #3 : Feeling the warm sun on my too pale skin.

Fact #4 : Sipping on ice cold peach tea.

Fact #5 : Knowing that term doesn't start for another one week.

Fact #6 : Listening to Katy's Perry Teenage Dream.

I think I'm in heaven.

Current Mood :

Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go to Amsterdam

2010-09-06T04:29:00.000+01:00

I've always wondered whether prostitutes chose that road of life because cruel life slammed so many doors shut in their that it leaves them no choice but to resort to the profession of daily fornification with strangers. And I've always regarded them with something which was similar to disdain, carefully masked under an air of they're-not-my-business.

Though I must admit, after a trip to Amsterdam, it was with pure surprise that it was not all dark and twisty as I imagined it to be. In fact, Amsterdam's beautiful. Which leads me to believe that there is more to it than just pure sex, drugs and sluttery.

Behind those red curtains are women dressed in sexy skimpy lingerie. All those flashing of breasts, batting of eyelashes and gyrating of hips could only mean one thing - pure concentrated seduction.

Of course, being a group of four Asian girls in a sea of white people, we failed in our attempt to be as inconspicuous as possible. And of course, there was always the culture shock with left us gaping and staring although we tried our best not to. Four sore thumbs.

There was a prostitute cabin which we could sit in. It was as big as a broom cupboard, lined with cold dirty tiles. Nothing but a tattered mattress stained with unidentified yet suspicious substance and a urinal. For that 5 seconds with my eyes shut, I pretended that I was a prostitute. Standing in the cabin, smelling the musky odor, I imagined fat hairy man dressing himself, leaving me naked on the bed clutching a €50 note.

I can't help but shudder at the thought of it.

I felt broken, pained, defiled. And utterly depressed.

And with that in my mind, disdain gave way to sadness. Behind those seductive smiles, I believed that they couldn't have wanted this life if circumstances were different. Is it possible that they were happy doing what they were doing?

There are many reasons why prostitutes chose the way of living the life they chose for themselves which society deem as immoral. Reasons which are unknown to us, and so we can only assume and judge. Hence, people shun, spit, and point. Surely there are other things which you could do with your life besides one with unwanted pregnancies, STDs and violence?

Impossible for us to love people like them, don't you think?

Which led me to the biggest question of all :

Yet how is it so that God still manage to love every single one of them?

Amazing.

Shots of Amsterdam:

Heineken, Cannabis, Sex Museum, Cheese, Cows, Syrup Waffles, Marijuana seeds, Condoms - Everything about Amsterdam.

Giant Clog Shoe

Serene water canals greeting you when you step out of the hostel each morning

The windmill-peppered countryside, with tonnes of cows.

Famous yummilicious pancakes

Little porcelain garden ornaments on sale at the market

Colourful wooden clogs

Van Gogh Museum

Awesome vibrant nightlife

Amsterdam had something called "War Chips". It's French fries drenched with all sorts of sauce - Ketchup, mayo, jams, peanut butter, BBQ sauce, vinegar, brown sauce, etc. First sight of the monstrous thing will leave you @.@!!!!!!! But upon tasting, it's really yummy! Though of course, side effects include constant craving, sore throats, and of course, increased butt size =P

Still, one can't be bothered with calorie counts at times like these now, can they? =D

And not to mention, World cup fever painted the whole city orange =)

Current Mood :

Love the way you smile

2010-09-04T16:11:00.004+01:00

Hello mother.

Hard to imagine you being 21 once upon a time.

If I am anything like how you were then, I'm happy =)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And so, the 3rd month of my 4 months holiday is over. Technically, there's one more month of holidays to finish up, stuff to do to look forward to. Yet why do I feel somewhat bummed as if holidays' over already?

Past 3 months were awesome. Recently took a trip down memory lane, and I can't help wondering "since when did I become so old?" Sure, there are those which seem to have gotten stuck in time, yet there are those which have changed so much to the point of being unrecognizable.

MCKL, for example. Yet somehow standing in the middle of a strange building with very little essence of what was before, I could somehow picture the same group of people dashing around the corridors, laughing. The same group of people who are now nothing more than just fragments of memories.

Things changed. Yet they don't seemed to have changed completely.

As much as I miss the past, I can't wait to see what's to come in the future.

Till then,

I find violinists sexy

2010-08-27T00:52:00.000+01:00

When I was a 6 year old kid, mom got me a Vanessa Mae Red Hot Concert video cassette tape. That was probably my most prized possession then. Back then, I only had strictly 30 minutes each week to watch the television. If I chose to watch this tape, I can't watch Sailormoon/ Power Rangers. (Honestly, 30 minutes of TV a week is bad enough for a 6 year old. Having to choose between shows? Child abuse, I tell you).

And then came the sad day when fungus started growing in the cassette. I was heartbroken. The tape was irreparably gone.

Until yesterday, I never thought I'd ever hear Vanessa Mae again.

God bless YOUTUBE!!!!!!

Now that I'm not 6 year old anymore, I'd say she's not the most talented violinist alive, but she certainly does have her unique way with a violin that can make a 6 year old fall madly in love with her. She's like a younger hotter sexier version of Kyung wha Chung. With her cheekiness, a pretty fancy glittery frock, beautiful jawbones, fancy electric violin and of course, no scowl on her face, how can I not? =(

Ah... good ol' times.

Cotton Eye Joe

Contradanza

Toccata & Fugue

Classical Gas

Red Hot

I used to dream of flying to London to watch her perform. But now that I'm here, she's somewhere performing in Russia/Latvia/Lithuania =.='''

Some day............

Why?

2010-08-20T01:43:00.000+01:00

Well I've been busy. Enough said.

Though I do admit, a tiny reason why I hardly touch my blog is that recently, I feel that people are scrutinizing and judging me by what I write in this blog. Maybe it was because of one past incident, something which probably isn't even worth mentioning, but I don't believe I have ever spoken out how I felt about it now, have I?

You need not know about the details of the ancient-history incident, but after keeping it in my for so long, I need to say this to all the readers out there:

I'm glad that you find this blog worthy enough for you to read. I'm happy if you share your opinions with me. I'm more than happy if you even decide to "lend" my writings for your own personal use.

In other words, you plagiarize. I won't mention names nor links. But that's another matter altogether.

But.

It's one thing to read, but another to judge.

Well, it's a free world, so okay judge away.

It's one thing to judge, but whole other thing to misjudge.

And to decide to do something about it, well.

It would be fine if it weren't involving me.

But if it did...

COME ON.

To think how hopeful I was, thinking that it was good news, or at least an offer or something important to discuss or some sort. I waited around for 3 hours, only to find out that it was anything but what I guessed it might have been.

And so, imagine how I felt.

Eagerness which gave way to disappointment.

Disappointment which gave way to confusion.

Confusion which gave way to bemusement.

Bemusement which ultimately ended with utter humiliation.

All right before my exams.

You might think it was nothing significant, and I was just being way too touchy.

Well, may I ask you to for one second, just imagine yourself as a stressed out 20 year old about to have her final exams with hardly any time to breathe. And to have something like that thrown in your face just then.Well. All I can say is, well. WELL.

And so, I decided to lay low under the radar.

And I realize how stupid it was for me to think like that.

This is my blog. There is a reason why it's named Matinees of My Life.

And so my dears, that's why I haven't been updating much after that (and also, because I'm extremely super busy). I was scared of being misjudged again. All posts which I thought contained any personal thoughts were saved under drafts, and stored away without posting it up for my family and friends to read. And believe me, this post was one of them.

But it's in the past now. I think I've had enough of hiding.

The author is BACK.

Side note:

I am well aware of the your concerns. I choose to believe that you meant good in every way when you decided to make that call. I thank you deeply for that.

Written : 20th May 2010

Posted : 20th October 2010 (see what I mean??)

Revelation

2010-08-16T00:53:00.006+01:00

There is a reason why our parents brought us up the way they did.

They made us think, they taught us to judge what is right from what is wrong,

and most important of all, they taught us to follow everything that God tells us to do.

There is nothing wrong with "thinking too much",

and that certainly has nothing to do with whether you're an Asian or not.

We are who we are today because of our parents' teachings.

God guides them so that they in turn will guide us in making the right decisions.

But of course, we do tend to make mistakes,

and we follow the pleasures of the world because we have the longing to self indulge.

To give in to pleasures and things that we think will make us happy.

To feel special.

To feel as if we belong.

I know that am one of the "we" mentioned.

Truth is,

God never wanted us to just "fit in" and be happy and complacent about it.

God has His plans for us, and to turn your back against Him is pure disobedience and sin.

I know that I have sinned.

Now this is my confession:

I know my greatest weaknesses - vanity, jealousy, and complacency.

I have always been the prodigal son as mentioned in the bible,

yet I have always been too ashamed to admit so.

God has spoken to me in so many ways and there are times I ignore Him completely,

giving in to the temptations all around me.

I pray for forgiveness I do not deserve, and for the strength to be rid of temptations.

And now, here comes the age when a whole new temptation hits you hard in the face: Matters of the heart. Romance. Relationships. Fantasies.

I wouldn't say that there are lists of rules and dos & don'ts when it comes to these things.

But I guess there comes a time when following God's will is more important that following your heart.

I just pray that when my time comes, I will be as strong as she is in my faith in God and His words.

Current Mood :

Of the Past

2010-08-09T16:48:00.009+01:00

Gaps.

Changes.

Depreciation.

Moving further means being able to look back at a matter in a whole different perspective altogether.

That's what I did.

Which led to realization and acceptance.

The end.

Current Mood :

21. Blackjack.

2010-08-08T04:29:00.021+01:00

Aloha people!

Missed me? =)

Turning 21 doesn't seem to come with bigger brains or bigger boobs as I expected. What a let-downer.

They say your 21st birth day is the biggest deal on earth, besides your wedding day and of course, your funeral day.

And because it's such a big deal, it's customary that it should be made as unforgettable as possible, of which the birthday person would be subjected to humiliating tasks and force-fed booze so much that it'll render him/her completely...vegetative.

It's like your hen/stag party. Except that you're not getting married. You're just turning 21.

And while my other friends get dunked in C2H5OH for their 21st birthdays, I celebrated mine with close friends and Love. Just the way I love it.

Love the surprises, love the cakes (and chicken), love the whole James-Bond style Dublin-walkathon, love the 20 minute powerpoint lecture, love the long distance call, love the traditional creamcake facial treatment, love the gifts, love the hugs, love the wishes, love the Love.

Love you guys. =)

I thank God for 21 years of blessings and love. And for all the angels He has put in my life, never failing to make me smile.

Current Mood :

It shouldn't hurt to be a child

2010-08-01T11:38:00.000+01:00

A little picture game for you =)

It's simple.

5 of these photos, you will Let's play this little test, shall we?

It's pretty simple.

I'll give you 5 photos first, and I'd like you to look at them.

Observe each child in each photo. Think of one word to describe the child of each photo.

Or, if you're too lazy to do so, just label the child as being

Picture 1

Credits to Elijah

Picture 2

Picture 3

Picture 4

Picture 5

What were the words that came into your mind then?

Loved? Joyful? Peaceful?

Cheeky? Playful? Curious?

Right.

Now, I'm going to show you another 5 photos, and label them just like how you did above.

Picture 6

Picture 7

Picture 8

Picture 9

Picture 10

What came to your mind now?

Dispaired? Fearful? Pain?

Malnurished? Suffering? Scared?

How would you imagine a child to be?

Free from all troubles, smothered with love from both doting parents, being playful or even naughter, making silly little mistakes, and living in a fairyland full of cookies, ice creams, airplanes and fluffy bears?

Or would you imagine them trembling and rocking in a corner, hands over ears? Or being too scared to do something wrong in fear of severe physical reprimandation from their guardians?

What we see in our society isn't always what it seems to be. Behind every smile, there may be hidden fear. Behind every closed door, there may be pleas for help which we will never be able to hear unless we observe.

Child abuse. Child violence.

We read about them, we shake our heads and tsk away, condemning the parents for such cruelty. But seriously and honestly, do we REALLY care?

Last year, there were more than 2000 cases of reported child abuse in Malaysia. Imagine the number if we were to include the number of unreported cases of child abuse. Horrendous cases of physical violence towards children were reported in newspapers, guardians/maids were dragged to court and the abused children shoved under the scrutiny of media and the entire nation, causing even more traumatic distress.

Yet, no one reads what the child is screaming out silently to everyone - Where were you when I needed you?

Where were the parents when the child was abused by the maid?

Where were the neighbours and relatives when the parents ill-treated the child?

Where were you?

Think about it.

If there children being abused in their own homes, what about children who have NO homes?

Orphans, or children in institutes.

Say, an orphanage with 30 orphans. I'm not talking about mere physical violence. I'm talking about things like intentional starvation, emotional abuse, sexual assault, child exploitation etc. What goes on in some of those institutes is so inhumane it is almost unimaginable. Yet, we simple refuse to believe that such cruelty exist, each too comfortably wrapped in our own bubble, or too busy to even care.

Orphans I had fun with 3 years ago. Wonder how they're doing now.

That's why, UNICEF is making a pro-active move in promoting campaigns and awareness against child abuse and violence. They're speaking on behalf of those who are oppressed and cannot speak, reaching out to everyone in every way possible with just one plea - Help Them.

What can I do?

I used to think that I am too young to do anything.

Let me share a story with you.

There was once a little girl, no more than 11 years old. One day, she was standing outside her school gates, waiting impatiently for her ride to arrive and take her home. Thoughts which went through her head were along the lines of "I wonder whether mommy bought me any of those delicious Choki-Choki Chocolates? I wonder whether I can go out to play with my friends if I finish my homework? I wonder why mommy is late to pick me up?"

And suddenly, she heard crying and pleading. What she saw, she never forgot. A lady was holding her son by the neck like a dog, and was knocking his head about very violently. She pushed him forwards, and the boy stumbled a few times, only to be dragged up again by the collar. Shoving him into her car, she threatened him with a sinister “你回家你死了” which literally translates to "When we reach home, you're dead", followed by a string of profanities and cursings. The boy was whimpering, but no one did anything. Parents were hurrying past, pretending that the scene before them was not happening.

The little girl never found out what happened next, for her ride arrived right after that. She ran into her car and slammed the door shut, blocking out the horrible scene that happened right outside her little comfort zone. Her mother kissed her hello, and she told her everything that happened. Her mommy told her that everything will be okay. That there are people out there who's job is to stop bad parents from harming their kids. But she said that there was nothing that the little girl could have done for she was too young.

The little girl felt comforted, and had no more thoughts about that ugly scene.

She never saw the kid ever again.

A decade later, the little girl grew up. She was always busy with her school, college and soon, university. She was happy, and had supportive parents who were behind her in everything that she did, both her achievements and mistakes. Her love for humanitarian causes grew as she grew up, but she never did anything radical besides signing up for petitions, joining causes and buying badges.

It wasn't until one day, she saw a video posted on Facebook which shocked her beyond words.

Utterly mortified, the now-21 years old girl felt sick. She remembered that sad incident that took place in front of her primary school, and was rudely awakened by the cruel fact that outside her fluffy rose-decorated bubble, there are still so many kids who still need help.

____

She was not a little "You-can't-do-anything-because-you're-too-young" girl anymore.

Being 21, you can buy alcohol legally.

Being 21, you can vote during elections.

Being 21, you have all the freedom you want.

I say, being 21, you can finally be useful to your society.

I guess by now, half of you would have guessed the girl's identity. That girl is me.

I'm 21, and I can say that it's about time that I play my part and speak up. I might not have been able to do anything then, but I certainly won't sit around this time, assuming that " there are people out there who's job is to stop bad parents from harming their kids".

We need to be those people.

Being in a Western country, where child activists are super enthusiastic in protecting children's rights, physical actions against children would almost warrant them a court hearing.

Perhaps that has never been our mentality, as Asians do generally believe in the powers of caning and the saying "spare the rod and spoil the child". I'm not one to condone caning, nor am I against it. However, I'd say "too much rod will spoil the child anyway". Some parents have misused their role as a discipliner, and instead used their children as punching bags for whatever personal issues they might have, be it financial issues, stress, temper etc.

Forget physical violence. Many might not know this, there is something called verbal abuse. Constant attack of a child with harsh words and profanities is so common, no one will ever think twice nor consider it as abuse. Think of it this way:

Caning causes physical trauma and emotional distress.

Verbal abuse causes psychological trauma, low confidence, and emotional distress.

The tongue can certainly hurt a kid as badly as a whip or a cane.

Now,

It's certainly not my place to dish out any parenting advice, nor to judge how you choose to discipline your children. I am just a student with NIL experience in parenting.

Bu, I know enough to say this:

- There is a fine line between disciplining your children, and abusing your children. Calling your child stupid idiot for getting a D during his exam might seem as an effective way for you to motivate the child to work, but you will never know how that will affect the child's confidence and mentality. It's like having your colleagues calling you "Fatso" every day, just so that you will be motivated to lose weight. How will that feel?

As for everyone else, face it. We're all kepoh-chis in one way or another. Instead of gossiping about which celebrity is seeing which celebrity, which neighbour kena TOTO or what's the husband's salary of the "silais" you hang out with, use this "kepoh" nature to your advantage.

-Listen. Many don't listen to what children has to say. Don't brush them aside as having wild imaginations or being paranoid. LISTEN.

- Be alert to any suspicious behaviour or events that might be happening next door. Don't always believe that those constant slammings, clangings and screamings' due to the neighbour chasing the cat around the house.

- If you're an educator, be aware of any bullying activities among the children. It's more likely that children of domestic abuse might channel their parents' abusive nature through bullying/vandalism.

- Or if you think you're too young, you're never too young. Don't think like how I did. You can do something. If you're friends who "just don't seem like themselves", be their friend. Find out what's wrong. Most likely it might be family problems, and if it's domestic abuse, don't just sit around, do what true friend would do - report it.

- Always be alert to any changes children might exhibit. Little things like a simple drawing or change in behavior or mood might indicate something much more serious.

Or, if you're still hesitant, Start Somewhere by joining UNICEF by clicking the link below. Read up and know what's happening, and if you feel the urge or calling to do something, well, you know that UNICEF is a forever-ready platform for you to stand up and DO SOMETHING.

We were blessed with loving parents that loved us and would never do anything to harm us.

Many children never had that love we had.

Or maybe, some of you out there might have been subjected to abuse, but were too young to know so, or never knew how to tell anyone about it.

Child abuse is everywhere.

We're just to oblivious to notice it, being trapped in our busy little bubble world.

Open your eyes, and you will be shocked with what you see.

So do something about it.

I'm doing something,

are you?

Little Miss Sunshine loves drawing =)

~Children thrive on pleasing people. And they thrive on the love they receive in response to that. Please don't abuse that love.~

Current Mood :

A week in Germany

2010-07-07T01:39:00.035+01:00

Aloha y'all.

My name is Rachel Nge, and in case some of you might have forgotten, that I am the owner, albeit quite irresponsible, of this blog.

Sure, I admit I am guilty for neglecting this blog for nearly 2 months. Time passes way too fast for me to actually slow down, hence I find it much harder penning them thoughts down as compared to before.

I think it's 50% lack of time, 50% pure laziness.

I'm currently in Italy. I'm returning back to good ol' Dublin tomorrow. Hurray.

Don't get me wrong. It has been a lovely 2 weeks. The people I've met are absolutely fantastic, and the experience was definitely unforgettable.

Trapped on the beautiful Island of Lindau by the Lake of Constance for 1 week together with 600 other brilliant scientists, researchers and 60 Nobel Laureates was an experience which I have yet to find the right enough term to describe.

Intimidating?

Interesting?

Invigorating?

Inspiring?

Maybe all of the above?

Definitely all.

When you meet a Nobel Laureate for the first time, you would imagine that you'd need to come up with something more brilliant and intelligent than just "What inspired you, sire?", or worst, something as embarrassing as "Are you married mam? Do you have kids?"
I would say it was something close to awe I felt which caused my foot to somehow find its way up into my mouth when I talk to them. Of course, I discovered that was totally unnecessary. They are just normal regular people who happen to be geniuses with an extra medal stating "Nobel Prize Winner". Some with a delightful sense of humor too I find =) Amongst my favourites are Oliver Smithies(Physiology/medicine 2007) and Aaron Ciechanover(2004 chemistry), and Harold Kroto(1996 chemistry).

Oliver Smithies seem to me like some eccentric scientist who loves working away in the lab on Saturday mornings and builds his own PCR to save money, risking the health of everyone else in his lab. Yet there is this lovable, grandfatherly thing about him which makes me feel like hugging him. Weird though, he bans powerpoint presentations in his lab and uses the old-fashion way - blackboard and projector. Such jurassic-aged presentation rule was immediately rejected by Sir Harold Kroto, and thus begun a very lively and amicable banter about the wonders/"danger"(as Oliver Smithies put it) of Powerpoint presentation. Of course, I have no doubt that Harold Kroto's power of presentation is great, if not the best in the hall. He does have his ways. =)

Aaron Ciechanover is a shrewd, no-nonsense man whom I had the honor of dining with during the get-together dinner. He believes that the secret to a happy marriage is admitting that the wife is always right. He signed my book and I extended a friendly invitation to him to come and visit Malaysia someday, which he accepted with a wink. Of course, provided that Malaysia and Israel become buddies soon lah.
Aaron Ciechanover and I during the waltz

Nobel Laureates aside, I met scientists and researchers of all walks of life, nation and field. Something I don't get in med school, and I love it.

Some points which I find memorable/funny in Lindau:

1. Recieved a flower from a very random someone and whom I did a very bad waltz with. After that, I nearly got my backbones dislocated.

This is how it works : Guy offers girl flower - Girl accepts and curtsie, guys bow - Guys lead girls offstage to dance.

2. Became half a bavarian. I can't be a full bavarian because I don't drink beer.

Markus, Higuchi, Martin and Johannes. Higuchi the Japanese they called Full Bavarian because he dances Bavarian and drinks like one. No fair.

3. Cruise on the largest, most luxurious and magnificent ship I have every seen.

4. Watched with amusement while the Germans celebrated their win against the English. Surprisingly, I didn't meet any English participants that afternoon after the game. Ah well.

This was us watching the match after the meeting.

This was how the Germans celebrated their win - going crazy. The boy is wrapped with a german flag which covers his face. Bad dad.

5. Fell in love with one famous violinist from Vienna Orchestra when they performed for us. Sigh.............I lose my heart far too easily, I think.

He's the one far left corner. First violinist.

Of course, I must stay that I have never had the luxury of having hotel rooms, meals, transport and such taken care of. So that certainly an added large juicy cherry on top of everything. Much thanks to the organizers for their generosity and pampering.

Hotel Cafe Ebner in Lindau, Germany.

Art Olympic Hotel in Torino, Italy

Lindau's beautiful. This is why :

Gorgeous Sunset at Lindau Island.

Sunset at the Lindau Harbour

During the dinner, we were photographed while in the midst of a discussiong. I must admit, it looks as if there were some sort of Hawthorne effect influencing the way how we looked in this photo.

Panel discussion

Lecture session

Countess Bettina and I during the dance. My first encounter with a royalty.

I danced with Bavarian boys and Professors, during which I discovered that I badly need dancing lessons.

They encouraged us to be one with nature.

Our Luxurious Cruise - Interior 4 storey deck of the Sun Queen Ship.

During our cruise, this fireman boat thing started jetting out water. After much speculations, we discovered that this was actually a "Performance" - They were making a rainbow for us! Out came the oooohs and ahhhhhs.

Baden-Wurttemburg's mascot

Treated like royalty

But then again, there's no place like home in Dublin. And yet, there's no place like home in Malaysia. So which is home now? Hmm.

Whichever it is, I think this brain could do with some rest. As much as I insist that I can go on for another month, I sure could use with some rest now =)

Still. Miss those days =)

I love you, Oodie pie

2010-05-09T01:21:00.001+01:00

Happy Mother's Day, Oodie Pie :)

Here's to being best friends forever.

Our 1000-words Mother's Day picture which won us RM1000, spa, and goodies, and made it onto The Star papers :)

Wonder how you're doing, queen :)

Current Mood :

Life's a blast, so why dwell in the past? :)

2010-04-26T02:47:00.008+01:00

Here's a bible verse I found today, and would like to share with you for today :

John 7:24

Do not judge by appearances, but judge with right judgment.”

How true, don't you think? :)

Oh and by the way,

Yesterday, I found this postcard in my letterbox all the way from the US :

Thank yooou! :) *PS : That's a rampaging bull, not an innocent lamb =.='''

And apparently, it takes 9 days :)

And that night during RCSI's International Food Night...

A very nice decent photo before I got thrown off onto the ground (in 2 seconds)

So ngam!! LOL!

Anyway, I've sore groin now >.<'''

Back to MicrobiologY, PathologY and a whole load of insanitY.

Still, God's the only bit of sanity left in me.

Oh, and of course, His little angels - My family and friends :)

Hehe :P

Ciao, mon' loves!!

Current Mood :

Perfect Little World.

2010-04-11T23:51:00.001+01:00

All my life, I've been sheltered by this impermeable bubble of mine. Yes, there are certain events in life which I admit, weren't that nice, but there weren't anything that's majorly traumatizing.

Until now.

Past week has been particularly difficult for me. All these while I do know that the world isn't a perfect little place as one may hope for it to be, but it only hit me hard now. And to be here in a faraway place away from home, you feel particularly vulnerable. Suddenly, the bubble seemed so fragile.

Yet, it's only at times like these, do you realize how gracious God has been. How He's been blessing you with people around you, to care and support you when you are in pain and need.

God reminded me that when good things happen, give thanks.

When bad things happen, give thanks still.

God sent his little army of angels, disguised as people around me, from people whom I dearly love to almost strangers. Each of them flooded us with all the love, support and care they could possibly offer. Every bit of little help offered was deeply appreciated, from prayers, providing company, hugs, concerned calls and texts, cooking dinners for us, spending evenings with us to take our minds off things, to offering/lending anything that we need etc. It's simply amazing how beautiful people are, and seeing that makes me teary.

I feel that I need to specially thank God for the best housemate, friend and sister in Christ I can ever have. She has been through just as much as I have, if not more. Yet, she is one of the strongest person I've ever seen, and never fails to remind me of how great God's love is for us. I feel like she's somehow the sister I never had. Or twin. Lol. Hope you remain strong always, and may God's light shine through you always for all those people around you.

I would not say that this week has been totally ruined.

I felt happy even when there were tears.

I felt peace even when there were chaos.

I had Faith, Hope, and Love.

Current Mood :

Bits and pieces

2010-03-31T00:00:00.003+01:00

And so, Easter break starts tomorrow. And while everyone's travelling around enjoying their 1 month of holidays, I'm feeling sore because I am only given 1 week of break, and I've nothing to look forward to except long 12 hours camping in the library studying my ass off. What fun.

Speaking of library, I was surprised when I was chosen as one of the lucky winners to recieve this golden milk chocolate Easter from the RCSI Library staff.

Thing is, I can't bear to eat them because if I eat the big one, the little ones will be left motherless. If I eat one of the babies.... well, that's just being heartless no?

I think I shall take them all to class tomorrow and share with others so that I won't feel bad "killing" any one of them :)

Anyway,

Life has taken a sharp turn from being dramatic, unpredictable and fast paced to routined and ?predictable?. And I don't like it. Something's eating me up from inside, and as much as I try to guess what it is, I don't know.

Could it be the exhausting routine I've settled into for the past 4 months?

Or could it be the fact that I know my time is running out?

Or probably something unknown which is darker, deeper?

I have no idea.

Everyone seems to be on a blogging break, me included. It's like we're fading, and I'm running out of blogs to read because a bunch of them privatise theirs and another bunch... well let's just say I am no different from that other bunch. Much apologies to whoever who's left reading this. You know how hectic life can get. So sad, but so true.

Let's see...

I recently notice a change in me - I seem to have a shorter temper now. That definitely wasn't the old Rachel, and I hope it's just due to a temporary spike in my hormones or sth. I'm sorry ya? :(

best friends stick to each other always :)

Last week, I accidentally scratched a tiny part of my lower lip. And next thing I knew, blood was everywhere and my lip wouldn't stop bleeding for a long time.

I'm extremely well perfused, I must say. My blood was so brilliant red it looked like red ink.

I thank God that I had Eve. Else I would've made a complete mess everywhere. I always seem to forget about the rule of thumb - "APPLY PRESSURE"!!

I miss doing this...

And this....

I'd probably never get to do those again probably for a very long time.

And that makes me go :(

Yesterday I have been emotionally poked because of Alex. 2 female suicide bombers decided one fine day that it would be cool to bomb something, and so the train which Alex takes everyday was their target. Many people died, but Alex is still alive and kickin, reason was because he was late for the train.

I was so scared that morning that he was on that train. I was so happy that afternoon when I found out that he was still alive. I was so annoyed that evening that he did not reply any of our frantic emails.

Now, I shall not complain anymore. BER is just thanking God again and again that they still have their darling A.

I'm starting to look at kids in a different light.. almost motherly. Getting past the fact that they can practically shatter your eardrums and render you both deaf and insane, you've gotta admit... they are rather entertaining :) And microbiology class had me coming up with tonnes of fantastic names. I decided that I'll have triplets, and name them Staphylococcus, Streptococcus and Syphillis.

You know what, I think I can be a great mother! I'm that good in naming kids :D (something tells me the father won't be too happy with me though)

Last week has been a blast, having Justamin over. It's pretty refreshing having non-medic peeps in your life once in a while. It helps to balance you out. I should do that more often. Thanks, guys! :) :) :)

I dyed my housemate, Eve's hair brown. I was so scared it'll turn out like rust or something, or I'll make her hair look like some pile of moss. Thank God it turned out fine :) And, inhaling all those ammonia made me go HIIIIIIIGHHH :d

See the forced smile?

I had seriously NO IDEA what I was doing, though I kept reassuring Eve that I knew exactly what I was doing. hehe! *guilty look* But it turned out just great, and now, I feel like dying mine. But mom says I should only dye my hair when I am old with white hair. Ah well.

I miss baking. Although I know that I suck at it.

These were made by my girlfriends and I last year :) Good ol' days!

And now,

I can't help but dread.

Dread what is to come.

And that dread is keeping me from truly enjoying what I'm having right now.

Sigh... I do know that it is inevitable, but I can't help but wish.

Wishful thinking, I know. Useless too.

Ah well,

Current Mood :

Spring is here!

2010-03-18T23:53:00.022Z

Happy St Patrick's Day!

Irish say that St Patrick banished snakes from Ireland. Some say there aren't snakes in Ireland anyway since post-glacial time. Some say the snake is a symbol of the Druids. Whichever it is, I'm just glad that St Patrick gave us a reason to have a national holiday. And for that, hurray!

The mass of green along O'Connell Bridge waiting for the parade. Notice the non-green people on the right? Those are definitely non-Irish tourists. Hehe..

Meet PutPut and PatPat, the Silly Twins! I didn't have the heart to crop the other head behind us coz his eyes are just too cute =)

I don't think Ben understood the idea of wearing GREEN on St Patrick's Day. Either that, or he thinks his purple jacket is green. ie colour blind.

The 2 guys pulling the cart must be feeling pretty pissed at the man standing on top of it. Lol

June's head was swallowed by Gan's gianormous shamrock hat

DJ on a Turtle!

And so, as you can see from the pictures from above, I had my 2nd dose of St Paddy's Day in Dublin!! The parade wasn't Disney-Parade-fantastic, but I did enjoy being part of the green sea of crowd. This year, Eve and I decided to go as the Silly Twins, PutPut and PatPat. With our tri-coloured green wigs, funky green grass skirts, we were a little.........overdressed? Hehe! We had plenty of stares (and secret snapshots taken by strangers which would probably end up somewhere on the Internet) But then again, no one would know who's that girl behind the big shades, atrocious green wig and green grass skirt right? :)

It wasn't until yesterday that I realised that Winter has already quietly bowed out and Spring has already tiptoed her way in. No more snow, and hello sunshine! True, it is kinda hard to appreciate the weather and all seeing that we're cooped up in the hospitals from 8 to 5pm. But then again, there's always those beautiful weekends on shopping streets, which with a bit sunshine, would turn out to be ultra heavenly!

True enough, I've been slacking away for the past week, with International Night preparation followed by visits from Justin and Ben. Although Malaysia lost the winning title this year for International Night, I still think that we did a great job :) I didn't exactly have as much fun as I expected coz of some stuff, but it certainly was nice seeing the juniors putting on a good show. No, I didn't exactly take part in the performances, but I did have fun being the chinese dancers' hairstylist :D

"The trick is to use as much hairspray as possible. " - Rachel Nge, March 2010.

Chinese Kung Fu girls. That's me as the Kelefeh, holding up the Lantern :D

Sumazau dancers. Awesome costumes, they made them themselves!

Malay Jogeters were so flirty *whistles*

Iban Warrior. Nice legs!

Indian dancers were smokin hot

Our lion head flirting with Margie

Looking at them practicing hard for the past 2 weeks, I missed my year, and the effort and time we spent in preparing for our performances. Those were the good ol' days, sigh :)

Winter unbuttons her drab gray coat

opens a wide winking sailing boat

chases storm driven clouds to now float

bud to blossom

here comes Spring!

Ladies flaunt hats in steamed zephyr air

to romance and pout as only they dare

skirts blow wanderlust without a care

cleavages quiver

here comes Spring!

-Karin Anderson

Special Shoutout to Shuxin - HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

:( :( that you couldn't be here :( :(

Current Mood :

Trip to Nottingham

2010-03-18T04:27:00.000Z

Stepping off the plane, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath of the wet chilly air, and for that 2 seconds with my eyes closed, I decided not to be Rachel, and instead, I became Florence - my mother.

Since young, my mom has been telling me stories about her life in the UK from primary school right up till university, and of all the things she did while she studied in Nottingham. I imagined how lucky she was, to be able to study at the same place where Robin Hood and Maid Marian lived. She might even be able to meet them!! (Back then, I loved Robin Hood like mad cow!) Mom made me so eager to start university, to experience the life she lived, to grow up. And of course, it was where she and my dad started their little romance. I love visiting those places with a bit of love story tied to it! :)

Anyway, apart from all those sentimental thoughts, I must say Nottingham is really quiet as compared to other places I've been to. Yet, there's something really peaceful and serene about it. On the bus, I was the only person under the age of 50. No joke @.@

I made a list of the things I love about Nottingham :

1. The thought that my mom once lived there.

2. Robin Hood and Maid Marion.

3. The squirrels are ULTRA FRIENDLY. I could actually pat one on its head!

4. China China Restaurant. The food is awesome, and so cheap!

5. Ben and Shuxin =)

This was where my mom lived during her uni days. The hall was named after her - Florence =)

China china's fried rice is orgasmic.

Robin Hood Statue

Sucker for this

Nottingham Castle

Cute squirrel!

Sushi :D

Shuxin made me my beloved Herbal Eggs, orgasmic!

Current Mood :

That's not called friendship.

2010-03-12T15:20:00.005Z

Some people can be just so superficial and ignorant.

Well I had it. I'm not someone that can be pushed around like that.

At times like these, you're on your own girl.
Dignity is more important than trying to appease someone.
Just pick your pieces up, and stand firm.
No more.

Let this be a nice weekend.

Current Mood :

This was what that went through my head today.

2010-03-02T00:39:00.001Z

For today I try to rhyme with care,
Play of words and sentences I pair.
pS : This was required of princesses once before,
Back in medieval days of myths and folklore."

Yet throughout classes this restlessness, it grows
And all I could do is wiggle my toes.

And I whisper to myself......
Come now, Prince! just take me away,
To a faraway place together we'll stay.

For medicine was fun but for now it's not,
So hurry and take me away before I rot.

If not a Prince, then give me a frog in green,
Not to kiss, but to dissect his spleen.

For this whole month, I'll be Miss Bored-Cinderella,
No balls, no gowns, just wishing for happily eva afta.

..
...

This rhyming game was fun while it lasted,
Now I feel it's lame and rusted(?).

So forgive me as I hop in bed,
On 8 big pillows I long to rest my head.

Tomorrow is tomorrow, bright shiny and new,
Or would again I come home feeling all blue?

Current Mood :

Tomorrow tomorrow

2010-02-27T02:34:00.006Z

Sometimes girl,
You just need to remember how to suck in your thoughts and emotions like you have been doing before, don't care so much, and just hold your head up high, smile and wave.

But I must say God has been gracious, for all that He has provided to sustain me :)

Tomorrow, I'm going to lock myself in the library to prevent excessive sleep.
Tomorrow, I'm going to Lemons alone and sit and eat two crepes all by myself.
Tomorrow, I'm going to cook live frozen seasnails and eat them all up.
Tomorrow is a brand new day.

Tomorrow, I'm going to be happy. :)

Current Mood :

Of Gangrenes, Valentine and New York and... wait.. How do they even relate?

2010-02-18T00:55:00.004Z

I think I need to come up with better post titles...

I am really excited to see patients in wards and surgeries and postmortems, no more dissection in anatomy lab!

But there IS something I'm not that excited to see in my future patients:
Gangrenes.

This foot has the sad fate of eventually being amputated. Poor lady.
I love the sight of blood.
And I love the sight of sharps piercing skin.
But not pus. And rotting flesh means u'll be losing your foot. So sad!

If you're
1. Under the age of 18
2. Not a medical student
3. Will cry/pass out/turn jello at the sight of blood or any internal body parts
4. Feeling nauseous already at this point,

I suggest that you immediately scroll downwards faster to a pleasant-er post where there are no gory photos posted up.

Probably a little too late, because your hippocampus would've registered the sight above in your brain. God bless.

Sorry mom if you're one of them :D

***
OKAY! OKAY! OKAY!
No more ugly pictures...
So...
Somehow I find amusement/entertainment in waking up and thinking what to wear to hospital for classes each morning. And I realised that my wardrobe's spectrum of business/formal attire can last me for 2.5 weeks before having to recycle and mix-n-match. Hence, I shall put an end to my shopping mania for the time being, unless I
1. feel depressed
2. peer pressured by my girlfriends especially by my very influential housemate Eve and flatmate Yiyun
3. See something which is cheap and fits me like a glove.

Ben thinks I'm turning into a girly girl now.

***
In hospital, I have a spot which I grew really fond of, and protective. However, it is being invaded by 2 middle-eastern guys. And best thing is that they are fully aware that I am vying with them for those strategic seats every friggin morning!
And so I thought to myself : BRING IT AWN YO, dudes!!!!! Extermination is required, but not without proper strategies and decoys and such. I have deployed spies and decoy-ists. But then again.... I have to ask myself : What would Jesus do?
Sigh... Ah well... maybe I just have to scrap my kiasu feeling and just let them take my seats :(

***
Chinese New Year came and went, just like that. Quiet come, quiet go. I tried ignoring Valentines, but being in a Western country, they acknowledge the latter, rather than CNY. So it hit me full force in the face, while I was out grocery shopping, in church, going up in the lift to my apartment, even in Grey's Anatomy. And Owl City's Saltwater Room song was so valentin-ish too! Gah...
But it was a good day. I did grocery shopping after church, Gong-Xi-Fa-Cai-ed people over skype, bought myself a beautiful white rose, cooked a lovely lunch, recieved a surprise by mail and had a lovely day alone. Peace and quietness, I like.

My beautiful white rose from Henry Street. I have a thing for white roses

My lovely seafood lunch: Seafood Salmon Cream Pie, Steamed salmon, and Elderflower presse

And a very beautiful unexpected surprise. Thank you, I love it :)

***
Med Ball of RCSI is coming up. It costs a friggin RM325 for a ticket. I think I outgrew proms and balls. To go or not? Don't feel like going :( This year, the RCSI ball theme is "New York". And I'm all reminiscing about the time back in New York again... Gah...

In New York,
Concrete jungle where dreams are made of,
Theres nothing you can’t do,
Now you’re in New York,
These streets will make you feel brand new,
The lights will inspire you,
Lets hear it for New York!!

I must say, New York has awesome chinese food, and the people there are extremly friendly. While my family were at Niagara Falls for 3 days, I stayed behind in New York City and decided to be adventurous and do some exploring by myself. While waiting at the sub in Manhattan, I bought myself a Snapples and had trouble opening it with my gloved hands. This good-looking guy came up to me and asked whether he can help me open the bottle. Another time, someone asked me whether I need directions. @.@ They're as friendly as the Irish here, if not friendlier!!

I do believe I've not shared any pictures, right?

Times Square by day...

Times Square by night

Empire State Building at Fifth Avenue feeling Gossip-Girlish...

Loitering around at Wall Street, staring at The Bull, feeling totally bored while Dad runs around the business-ey buildings there in excitement. Financial hub of the world ma - Daddy's zone. Sooo not my thing!

Taking pictures with Miss Statue of Liberty...
Chowing down humongous Cold Stone Ice Creams even tho it's super freezing cold! It was good, but too many nuts ugh.

I met up with Wilson who was there with his group of maple-syrup-lickin' friends (perfect timing I must say). T'was great catching up with him after such a long time! And in case you're reading this, thank you for literally giving me White House @.@ *inside joke*

Snowfight with Dad, Chris and Vic. Mom was cowering indoors.

Trying out New York Cheese Cake, but turns out that it was French, not New York American. =.=

Shovelling snow for my granduncle. It needs skills, which I don't have.

Visiting 911 Memorial Site and Ground Zero

Chilling out with Wilson and Canadian gang at Madame Tussauds with Obama, Bush, Brangelina, Britney, Hulk, Superman etc.

That's that. Now, I know that blog songs are a nuisance to most people. So instead of blasting it loudly, I've tweaked it to a minimum volume. Turn up your speakers if you think you wanna listen.

Ciao!

Current Mood :

I'm one of those twisted people.

2010-02-13T03:45:00.008Z

It has always been the money stuffed ang paus, the new clothes, the food, the holidays.

Now,
It's all about the family and warmth that I miss.

Wishing me Happy Chinese New Year and asking me to treat myself to something nice tomorrow.

Mail arrived, Mom recieved pink and red roses from postman from secret admirer. Not so secret afterall :D

PS : If you've noticed from the pictures, both parents seemed to have successfully converted my room into "The Skype Room". It does look different in the pictures @>@

Anyway...
Happy Chinese New Year to all.

And I shall quietly disregard the other purpose of celebration for the day. The V day.

~~~~~~~~~~~

And so, since last Monday, we've been weaned off RCSI and placed in a hospital. I feel drained everytime I come home from the hospital. No, I'm not complaining. In fact, I find this much better than the university going life we've been so accustomed to. I guess this is a new phase I have got to adjust my battery meters to. A foretaste of what we are to expect for the rest of our lives.

What am I going to for Chinese New Year?
Eat pasta, watch an episode of Grey's Anatomy, read my lecture notes, drown myself in Owl City songs, and sleep.

C'est la vie.

At least Reunion Dinner Day aka Chinese New Year's Eve wasn't that bad, with a good night with Elijah, Melissa and Jasmine :D

Current Mood :

I love Florida

2010-02-04T17:11:00.030Z

Thought of the day :
It was because of me that I didn't do well.
It was because of God that I did well.

Does that make any sense to you?

Perhaps not.

But only at times like these do you know how merciful and gracious God is with his blessings.

So, I shall learn not to complain, whine, feel proud nor anything.

It's not me. It's Him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Anyway,

I'M BACK, Y'ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just came back from a very long vacation...

Vienna, Salzburg, Venice, Florence, Munich, Zurich, Geneva, Lucerne.
Gorgeous!! But we'll save those juicy details and photos for another blogpost ya?

It seemed like forever, but yet it seemed all to quick. Next thing I know, I'm back in Dublin on my warm bed drinking hot chocolate and watching all the missed episodes of Grey's Anatomy, Heroes, Private Practice, Ghost Whisperer and Big Bang Theory.
And classes in hospital starts in 3 days time! Sem 4!! Too fast yo!

I can't help but wish that I'm back in America. I've never understood what people meant by "Living the American Dream", till then. Those 2 weeks there seemed all too surreal, and I miss all the warmth and love I felt throughout that trip.

As I browse through the photo album, I can't help but smile at all the different emotions and scenes captured in each photo, and all those memories just come surging back.

I would like to rewind time, please.

Here in Europe, it's super cold. But looking at the pictures in Orlando, it makes me feel so warm!!

Universal Studios, Orlando, Florida

Shopping!!
But.....Do you even know where to go?

This man loves Victor as much as Victor loves his leg.

We love Sharks

We love this Roller Coaster too.

Meet my brother, the car model.

Twister right in our face

Time flies, dont you think?

Anyway, that's that. Tomorrow, I'm heading to Nottingham to see my beloved Ben and Shuxin!! Can't wait! I'm just as excited to visit the very city my 20-year-old Mom once spent her years at!!
Just pray that I wake up on time for the flight!!!

Peace out.

Current Mood :

Warning : Contains semi-Nude scenes and provocating moves. Not for the faint hearted.

2010-01-18T04:42:00.011Z

Ever had a fantasy dream, which probably would involve naked girls feeding you grapes in a Porsche, or Brad Pitt climbing up your window to give you cookies at midnight?

Well, I dont do such fantasies. The most is having Sam Tsui singing Lady Gaga at the foot of my bed.

I'm having my last paper - PIH and EBH, I am on the verge of mental breakdown. Why does Europe, or even Ireland in specifc wanna drown us with so many legislatives and policies for????

I'm dying!!!

And so, what better way than to get 5 of my closest guy friends to entertain me? Knowing them, they will do it for me if I ask nicely, right?? Besides, each of them get a hot buffy body which they probably will never be able to ever have in their life! hehe..
And so they happily obliged, and I was left laughing away for 30 minutes straight after that. What a stress reliever!

Starring from left :
Ganesan, Elijah, Ben, Alex, and Chang Weng.

Now, don't go asking me why I chose these 4 in particular. I guess it's because their photos appear the most in my computer, hence the wide range of "facial expressions" to select from. Ben has the constipated look, Gan the horny look, Elijah the erm....drunken look, Alex the seductive look, and Chang Weng..... well he looks like he just came out from a Teletubbies cartoon commercial. So not seductive, MAN!!!

If I had time and no exams to study for, I would've proceeded to do the all girls version. Muahaha.

And no, I didn't do this video because I dream of seeing them naked! (seriously no, okay!?) I was just bored. And in dire need of stress relieving things to do. And no, I definitely will not even dream of seeing them like this in reality, else my eyes will just start haemorrhaging so quickly I'd go blind..

Ah well, I'm entertained. Now, back to books!!

Have I mentioned how much I hate PIH and EBH? I feel like pulling my hair out already!!!

Current Mood :

I learnt...

2010-01-18T01:10:00.011Z

We practically grew up together.

But somehow, I never felt like I belonged.
I tried to, and I pretended, but I can't.
And still I don't know why.

It got lonely, y'know,
and it hurt a lil, knowing what I've missed out on,
And that I'm not being missed.
But somehow amidst that loneliness,
I found God's presence comforting,
And the loneliness slowly became my time with God.

I learnt to grow up,
and naturally that means growing further away from those memories.
Distance was an advantage,
and I began to feel alive again.

I found God's calling for me,
and I fell in love with my calling.
I learnt to be indifferent,
to not mind so much as to what I felt,
But rather to treasure what God has put in front of me,
and not feeling sorry for what I've missed out on.

As I ascend up the ladder of life, I look down and say,
"boy, it's such a long way down!"
Looking at the all your lovely pictures now,
I say a little prayer, wishing you all the best.
I am happy, really,
for each found what God wants out of them.

So all I beg from God,
is that one day He'll show me what He wants me to do for Him
just as He did for you,
and that is all that matters to me now.

God bless :)

Current Mood :

Not a touch of sunlight, I tell you.

2010-01-12T19:31:00.012Z

~Twice a year, I turn into a vampire. ~

I'm serious! Every time of this year, January and June. It's a werewolf thing. (geddit? werewolf?? vampire?? Geddit?? Hahah........h....haa.. Lame =.=)

My skin becomes extra pale and white, I never step out of the apartment anymore except to college to take my exams. And during that brief 15 minutes walk to school and back, it's always either snowing, hailing or raining, so there's no hope of getting some VitDs there. My eyes are rimmed with black, which makes me look like a dark gothic emo (I prefer this than being called panda), and I eat nothing but drink Pepsi (my elixir of life). I never know whether it's day or night because my curtains are not drawn, and the only clock visible is the one on my computer desktop. Communication with civilization and the outside world is kept at its minimum, and during those brief times of seeing a person, I think of nothing but blood, bones, benzodiazepines, dopamines and catecholamines. Poop, sleep and food has become a luxury I can't afford, due to various self reasons. Vampires don't poop right?

So as you can see, this. Is. The. Life.

Another week to go before I finally return to my pain-sensing-eating-well-perfused-mortal-human form again.

Toodles!

Ha ha...I remember this photoshoot as if it were just yesterday's! This was us in first med. Second med, no photoshoot, but you get the point.
N.E.R.D. POWER!!!

Current Mood :

"Sometimes it's just hard calling myself a Malaysian and be proud of it"

2010-01-08T14:16:00.008Z

Honestly, I'm very disappointed with our country.
What happened to 1 Malaysia and all those lovely words??????

While I'm here enjoying the peace of Ireland, where the only worry there is for me is to pass my current exams and not fail anything (and also not fall and break my neck on the ice), somewhere on the other side of the world lies a greater worry for me :
the safety of my nation, my church, my family and my friends.

So here's a little plea to any of you who took the oath of serving the country and providing what is best for the country :

Please don't do this to us. You should know that no good ever comes out from fanning a spark into a fire. It'll only end up in flames and then ashes.

I believe in God, and I know that He wants Love and Peace.
Muslims believe in Allah, and I know that they would want Love and Peace too.
Same goes for every other religion.
We're not that different, aren't we?

To those who condone violence:
Don't succumb to the worldly influence of standing up for your rights and dignity by such immature acts.
You're no different from the other world terrorists if so.
Who or what gives you the right of smashing peoples' cars and setting properties on fire while tsk-ing at those who killed millions by doing the same thing?

It is a word. Just one. A direct translation from the word God. An acronym of Tuhan.
To cause a national havoc and uproar based on the usage of a word is just... ridiculous. I don't even know what to say.
Except "Haiyoyo", maybe?

Chew on this instead : In the bible, God asks us not to use God's name in vain. But everywhere we go, we see people swearing away about a 100 times a day with "Oh My God", "Holy _ ", "Jesus" etc. Whether you're You are not doing what is pleasing us either, but we don't go around displaying our anger for you doing that. Even Christians do it, I know. But we know that we're sinners just like you, that's why we don't get the right to judge anyone at all.

Try to settle everything peacefully. Personally, I think if Muslims were to propose it forward in an appropriate manner, Christians (at least not for me) wouldnt even mind if we were asked nicely to forgo the right of using the term. It's not gonna kill us if we really had to stop saying it to not offend anyone.

We have suffered much humiliation in the world's eye from all the antics and scenarios of our past (chair throwing, name callings, ISA etc) that sometimes, calling ourselves Malaysians outside Malaysia and being proud of it is hard. Don't make it harder for us by doing things like this.

I wish I'm home with my family now.
Or, I wish everyone can just come over here and stay here.
I can't do anything. I'm a nobody.
I worry for the possibility of things getting out of hand.
I pray that such worry is unnecessary, and God has everything in hand.

In case you are in any need of LOVE supply, here's some from Ireland, where we don't call ourselves MALAY, CHINESE OR INDIAN. We call ourselves MALAYSIANS. (or even Asians too la sometimes hehe coz some of the Ang Mohs dont know where's Malaysia!)

Us with the Malaysian Attache for Malaysian Students Department MSD, Encik Kamarolzaman at his Raya Open House

~~~

Remember May 13, and don't let those history lessons go to waste.

Remember 1Malaysia that we were so proud of just months ago.

Remember that we love, not hate.

Remember the children.

Current Mood :

Snow - Friend or Foe?

2010-01-08T11:58:00.006Z

First, it comes slow. And I love every bit of it. Couples sit by the window sipping hot chocolate and staring out at the snowflakes slowly peppering the lawn.
So romantic, I say.

Then it comes down hard. And I go into a snowball fight frenzy.
People start throwing snowballs and stuffing handfuls of snow down your underwear.
So fun, I say.
Snow stops. And yet everything seems like it's been coated with white paint. Or a white blanket.
Still okay. No problemo. Just bring them boots out.
So pretty, I say.

Then it melts. The magic disappears, and you're left with nothing more but blackness.

And that is when I start hating snow.

1. When snow melts, it refreezes and becomes ice. And then you are happily walking home after a bad day (Exams) and you go and buy some salted eggs thinking that you can go home and cook some porridge. And on the way home, you slip and fall and the eggs fall splat on the ice. No more salted eggs. And everyone stares at your eggs. Poor poor eggs.

2. And worst, you hit your head on the icy pavement, and your skull cracks open, and your brain becomes exposed to the chilly freezing air, and it freezes over instantly and you just lie there until you die.

3. Okay, if that's too morbid for you, then you'll just fall and hit your head and pass out. And when you wake up, you realise that you are losing your memory, and your speech becomes slurred. And soon, you die anyway. And they send your body for post mortem and found out your COD - subarachnoid haemorrhage.

The end.

You see this????????

See me laughing? That was just last week.

Now, I'm Mrs Grumpy.

Stupid Snow!

Bah.

And it's -9 degrees now! This is Ireland, not Iceland.
Global warming, I'm telling you!
So please! Stop using all your plastic bags, tissues etc and burning trees and driving stupid fast cars with super smelly turbo engines!!!!!

Now, excuse me while I go back to blowing my running nose using 100 rolls of tissue paper.

Current Mood :

Exam Fever

2010-01-06T00:33:00.003Z

Exams' in 2 days time.
As tradition goes, a disease/illness/sickness would befall me within a week of the exam period.

True to that, I am now with fever and a cold.
My homeostatic system is going into overdrive.
Mati boliao kong kiang si diao.

How how how??? How now brown cows??????

Garlic!!!!!!

Dinner Garlic. Lunch for tomorrow? Garlic. Breakfast? Garlic.
Garlic everyday until this dratted bug gets outta my body!!
Don't come and kiss me unless you want your olfactory nerves to go haywire and you suffer an instantaneous painful and smelly death.

Mopes. Everything's so gloomy now :(

Current Mood :

Back to Reality. Sigh.

2009-12-31T22:20:00.004Z

GOOD BYE, USA! HELLO, IRELAND!!!!

While waiting to board my flight, I can't help but wish that there were no exams, so that I could at least stay a little while longer here. Just a little while more....
These 2 weeks have been magical. Simply magical.

Time to go back for some hard core, ass-grinding time!!!!
GAAAAAAAAAh.....

Oh. and good bye 2010. No regrets :) Love you, 2009!

Current Mood :

Parenthood 101

2009-12-28T03:26:00.006Z

This little poem of mine is specially dedicated to my little ones in Georgia, Atlanta, who miss me and whom I miss.

Especially for the girl who is missing two front teeth,

and the little boy who can't make up his mind whether he wants to be Spiderman or Superman.

This is for you :

"Off I go as there I fly,
Come, hush now and don't you cry,
For this is true now, time will fly,
Someday I'll be back again, no goodbyes!"

Somehow as much as I found it tough to concentrate studying or resting with them kids constantly pulling at my hands begging me to go play games like superman, spiderman and every other man-game there is under the sun, or clinging onto my legs (yes, my ultra-super-duper sensitive ticklish legs) and spanking my butt non-stop,

I am actually missing it alot. Sorely. Banyak.

Is this what it feels like being a parent?
Well I don't mind then, I can be Angelina Jolie or Britney Spears.
Okay, maybe not Britney. Yer.

It's a nice feeling, you know. I've always called babies parasites. First, they suck the nutrients out from a mother's womb ala Alien VS Predator style,

(image has been blurred to reduce the goriness just in case minors are reading this)

then then suck the energy and money from the parents for at least another 20 or so more years. And then they grow up, and make their own parasites.
I know, because I am a parasite myself. We all are. Or were. tee hee.
But still parasite or no parasite, I guess loves triumphs all eh? :)

This is Jack. He's 3 and he is the cutest kid I've ever seen.

Shawn and Ken. The 2 boys who's growing up way too fast.

Kelly, Raissa and Jack doing jumping jacks.

I love you all :)
*hugs*

Current Mood :

"This is so not Europe"

2009-12-25T15:15:00.000Z

Whatever that we learnt in Med school about obesity did not have me mentally prepared for what I was about to see. And what I saw left a very deep and long lasting impression in me.
When I boarded the American airplane in New York to fly to Florida, I wondered why they had such big legrooms and airlines like Etihad, MAS, AirAsia, RyanAir were so stingy with their legrooms.

When the Americans started boarding the plane, I knew.

*What happened to all the Stick-thin Blair Waldorfs, Nate Archibalds, and MaryKate and Ashleys haaa?? *

Tsk tsk... hollywood.

Of course, watching the Americans way of eating (don't get me wrong. During the next few days, I met Americans who were gorgeous and corrected my initial perception of them) explained it.
A lady who stood in front of me in Disneyworld, happily chomping away on her turkey leg was my first subject of observation. It was fascinating, watching how one can finish up an entire GINORMOUS leg, really.

Turkey legs seem to be an American thing. Everyone's eating it. And so, I wanted to be in the "in" crowd. 5 bucks to try and chomp my way through like she did.

I couldn't even tear the first chunk of flesh off. It's as big as my face, okay!!! So sad

And so, New York was covered with at least 10 inches of snow. Atlanta's cold and dry. Florida on the other hand, was drenched with sun and warmth. Last time I checked, Dublin was raining. No gloating intended ya :)

Yet, it snowed in Disneyworld :D

Flight was quick and peaceful, thank God. But I think Britannia somehow has gotten raised intercranial pressure from the long-distance flight. Her eyes seem to be popping out more than usual @.@ Papilloedema.

And of course,
Meeting my family, and my uncle aunt and 4 cousins (Shawn, Ken, Raissa, JackJack) for the first time in my life. Lovely :)

The Father. Mother. Brothers. Mua.

2 big families :D And turkeys.

The Nge and Wong cousins.

And so, juggling between theme parks, family time, Christmas coming up, and studying for exams!!, where got time to breathe o????

Oh, and in case some of you didnt get the Christmas postcard from me, here's for you :

MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM ME AND BRITANNIA!!

Will blog more, but in the meantime, 5 minutes of rest is up. Back to studying gaah!!

Current Mood :

The Fat of The Land - An Obesity Epidemic

2009-12-22T14:43:00.004Z

I never thought of myself as skinny.

Until the day I set foot on this land - The land of Hamburgers, Fries and Coke.

Like seriously,
WOW.

Current Mood :

It's snowing again

2009-12-19T01:56:00.008Z

Yes it is.

Baby flakes everywhere.

Lately I've been watching alot of dance competition videos. Nice break from the mundane pile of notes. Seriously, check these out. Gorgeous choreography. El expressivo!!! Bravo!

I love the way how the lightings are synchronised with the rhythm of the song, that every flash accentuates each beat. Ultra cool!

Today's the last day of 2009 that I'll be spending in Ireland before heading to US till New Year's Day.
Why do I have this weird feeling that I won't come back?

Current Mood :

We're soooo OVER!

2009-12-11T23:19:00.000Z

There is a time when everything seemed like a blur. And you cant seem to slow down to take a closer look. Now, it seems clearer.

Everything's OVER!!!! All the hustle and bustle and running around!!

And best yet, no more CARDSIGNING TESTS!! Ever!!!! Oh alright, I'll certainly miss the adrenaline rush it gives me each week. And probably the smell of formaline on my clothes too and having chunks of flesh in my hair. But then again, I won't either. Not really so.
Funny fact that Alvin pointed out : first prosector I had for Cardsigning in First Year was Dr Tom Farrell. Gave me hell, he did. Now the last prosector I had for for Cardsigning in Second Year was Dr Tom Farrell too. Vicious cycle. I think he likes bullying me.

Newly constructed Samuel Beckett Bridge on Liffey River, taken by John Williams

Today I saw a totally new and different part of Dublin. I felt like a tempurung katak, being here for so long yet not knowing the other side of Dublin. Can't be blamed. My legs can only take me that far. It works for at most 1 hour before giving up. Today, I needed to collect a parcel from a delivery office, and according to Wikimapia, it wouldn't possibly take more than 15 minutes to reach by foot.

So wrong. I took ONE LONG HOUR to get there. Journey back took 10 minutes.

Well I guess I have no one else to blame but myself. Horrible sense of direction gaah. Irish people certainly are very friendly and helpful at pointing out directions, but even with directions given, well, I suppose it's either they give horrible directions or it's just me who can't understand simple direction instructions. I got lost so many times!

I miss my car lah..... :(

Anyway, it was worth it. Guess what was waiting for me in the delivery office :)

You know I love it, yet how could you!!?? *hugs and punch*

Christmas greetings might be a little bit late. Britannia is still in the midst of doing her photoshoot for the cover of Christmas cards, be patient :) That's her posing for Elijah, the President of Photography Society of RCSI. Geng leh, her very own photographer wei.

Anyway, I'm now at a horrible state of mind. I know I am in serious shit right now (if language seemed too harsh, fine. Poop then.) Exams in less than a month, tonnes to finish, and yet I'm heading to Edinburgh and US all in next week! Sigh......... Can't wait to meet my parents, and to spend some quality time with my friends, but I can't help having this little naggy feeling at the back of my head.

And thing is, exams' coming yet I'm still in exam-denial mode. Worst of all, this happens every single friggin year every single friggin exam every single friggin time!!! I never will learn my lesson, will I? Sth is seriously wrong man!!

Anyway, I gotta go sleep now. For those of you who's reading this blog because they're bored, watch these two I-WISH-FOR- videos.

I wish to dance like them. So slick!! Ubber sweet and cool too.

I wish for a kid like him. Ubber cute. Even Jason Mraz said he loves him! Watch as he struggles to ignore the itch on his nose.

Time for bed now.. Ciaozos!!

Current Mood :

One after another.

2009-12-06T17:54:00.004Z

I feel so beaten up.

This is by far one of the most interesting yet chaotic week I could ever remember! From stuff going missing to tables catching on fire, it's like something you would read out of Lemony Snicket's "A Series of Unfortunate Events".

Not only did my heart suffer so much that it probably would have ended up fibrillating if I didn't start on breathing techniques those pregnant mothers practice, but my brain could not really register whatever that has happened, sort of in a denial state I think.

Yet God has been really gracious. At times when all hope seem lost, He's still there patting me on the shoulder telling me everything is okay. And when I will not listen, He sends my friends to do the patting. What would I do without you?

Still, this week is over. A brand new week, finally! Breathe, Rachel, breathe!

Current Mood :

Oh, to just lie in bed for 5 more minutes.

2009-12-02T10:57:00.005Z

Today, I passed by Gaiety Theatre along Kings Street. They are showing Jack and The Beanstalk musical.
Normally when I pass by that place, I love slowing down and checking out the programmes of the month. But today, the place was swarmed with hundreds of elementary school Irish girls lining outside.

And they were all in bright, shocking pink.

And carrying ridiculous things like pink Barbie bags, pink Barbie hair bands, bright coloured coats etc. I can't even remember the last time I wore pink/had anything pink!

Forget about the fact that they all have voices which reach the level of frequency which in my opinion, should only be heard by dogs and other supersonic superheroes, the mass of pink was enough to burn a hole through my retina and scorch me optic fibres.

It wasn't until I turned around the corner of Grafton Street only they disappeared from my sight their voices faded.

I think that's enough eye and ear damage for the day.

Anyway, here I am sitting in the library waiting for class, and getting work done.

I have
3 assignments to finish, including a patient to visit.
Application forms to fill out.
A phone interview to wait for.
An event's floor plan to manage.
Less than a month to study for the January exams before I enter panic mode.

Remember when I said second med JC3 is relaxing?
Well, let me correct myself : I'm absolutely wrong.

I dont even have time to poop in peace.

I need divine strength!!

Current Mood :

Pictures for you, pictures for me

2009-11-27T03:05:00.006Z

This was Eve and my apartment living room before we moved in during summer. Looked so cold and bare.

This is after we moved in and did some major interior designing. :) It looks so cosy now! Like it?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So, whazaap? Past few weeks - HECTIC!!!! I can't even breathe sometimes. But I must say, I enjoyed it all. And it's not as torturing as you might think it is. I like listing out the good things, coz it cancels out the bad things. Things I like, for example :

#13. Taking 103 shots just to get one perfect shot for my US Visa, I actually kept laughing to myself. I look so weirdly nerdy I know. Do you know where this was taken? In my bathroom. I was sitting on the toilet seat. (imagine what Eve my housemate would think if she hears me laughing away alone in the toilet)

#12. Spending ages designing posters for events, just clicking away. I miss this kind of work :( Very high-school typical kind of work eh?

Poster 1 : Girls' Luncheon

Poster 2 : A Red Carpet Affair

#11. Discovering all different colours of gummy bears in the same packet. Very rare to have such a proportionate "racial" distribution indeed!

#10. Discovering the unspeakable Forbidden One during a friend's birthday bash.

#9. Finding beautiful lighting and creative shots in the randomest places - buses etc.

#8. Having to know that your best friend misses you as much as you do. *hugs*

#7. Having random Irish lunch with friends during sunny Sunday afternoons in cosy Irish pubs.

This particular pub serves the BEST Irish Guinness Stew EVER! Seriously, any of you who decides to come here for a visit, I'm taking you here.

#6. Watching subcutaneous haemorrhaging spread beautifully each day on my knee, before disappearing totally.

#5. Shopping at IKEA with friends, desperately trying my hardest to get inspired. Mom, I need you lah!

#4. Mr Puppeteer the Gorgeous blue Eyes and his puppet, Cheeky at Grafton Street. He kicks passerbys and flashes his wooden ass at the crowd. They both make me laugh. Always, without fail.
#3. Finding the perfect fitting dress. Seriously, friggin hard finding one for an Asian body in a Western land where 8 is the smallest you can get.

#2. Bonding.

AND FINALLY.....

#1. Going GAGA. Coz I can.

Would love to stay longer and write something read-able,
But hop hop chop chop! No time to lose!! So much things to do, so little time! Pictures are so much easier, I think.

Though right now, there's something important that I want to share with you all :

There comes a time when friends stop being just friends and start being family.

Chew on that.

Current Mood :

I'm officially missing you.

2009-11-23T01:22:00.002Z

Current Mood :