A thousand Years

The worst thing that could ever happen to a person,

is losing the will to live.

When every ounce of hope is drained from that wretched person.

and that living body he's living in is no different from those corpses we have in the morgue.

All these sick people want is for someone to care for them and listen to them.

But I guess with whatever feeble voice they have left,

their cries would all be drowned out by the ambulance's sirens, beepings of ventilators and retching sounds of other poor wretched souls.

Sometimes as medical professionals, you get caught up with all the paper work, the protocols, the noise... that you forget what being a doctor is all about.

Now, I have no right to make any comments about anything. Afterall, I'm just a medical student. Our hierarchical position in the hospital is way below the toilet-cleaning janitors and amoeboids that are found on the hospital floors. So we're nobody. We're meant to be seen but not heard. Heck if possible, they'd have us all kicked out too. Bunch of pesky mosquitoes, we are.

But I watch, silently. With my head bent intently over my notes and case writeups. I have seen and heard things which left me feeling absolutely appalled, and frankly, you would be too if you were in my position.

Many a times I find myself silently screaming at them:

Hey you mister in that fancy suit, with the awful God-complex.

You're a doctor. Your job is to save lives.

And if you can't, the least you could do is to make their lives a little less painful, a little more worth living.

You don't tell a dying patient that he brought it on to himself.

Nor do you don't tell the families that you've done all you could when you bloody well didn't,

And you sure don't tell a patient that he does not deserve to live.

You have no right. Nor does anyone else.

Sheesh.

~~

Sorry, was in the mood for a bit of ranting.

Now, how am I, you asked?

I'm doing fine, thank you very much if you were wondering. 4th year's !"£$%^%!snsd"£qi!!)$*, but that doesnt stop us from making the most out of it.

I quite like wearing scrubs. It means not having to worry/think about what to wear to the hospital everyday since I'm going to strip off everything in the changing room and put on nice clean comfy air scrubs anyway. Plus I love the OT. The air there seems fresher than the air we have in the wards or even outside the hospital.

It's hard to imagine that in about 20 months time, I'll be done with med school and will then be kicked out into this dog eat dog-and-everything-else-smaller-than-a-dog world. I don't think I'll ever be ready. I can't remember everything that I've studied. Heck, I can't even remember what I had for lunch yesterday. They should probably lock every medical student up in med school for about 10 years or so before releasing us. If only 10 years' enough for us to prepare ourselves for what is to come.

Have been cooped up in the hospital wards from 8am to 11pm for a week even on weekends, and frankly, that was the moment when it hit me: This is going to be my life for probably the next few decades or so. Or probably half a century if God permits. I wouldn't call it epiphany, I would say it's more of "reality friggin hurts". Well. This is what I have signed up for. So suck it up and go on with it. Not to discourage any of you reading this blog, but I guess it'll take more than a "I want to save lives I love science" to survive. You need willpower and a bucketload of sanity. Many a time I found myself sitting up, staring into space, wishing that I were someplace far off doing something else with someone else. Oh, and if you're thinking about $$, forget about it. It's clear that we'd be better of financially working as a janitor. Save yourself the 5 years and do something else, enjoy your life if money's what you're after.

Just a little time for yourself away from work does wonders.

Okay, time to switch to a non-medic related subject. Headed back to KL for a short trip to attend my parents' 25th anniversary thanksgiving dinner party. Cheers to you both, my dears =) You did a fine job raising three kids, and both of you are still looking good ;) (you know la what kids would do to you)

Oh, and what about that little bundle of fur I brought into my home not long ago? Well, he's doing fine... he's enjoying his life more than I'm enjoying mine, it seems. He's given the liberty of running around the place without being confined to a cage like every other rabbit on the planet. Plus he's toilet trained (proud mother here thankyouverymuch) Since then, he has assumed the role as the guard dog of my apartment and is darn good at it. So beware any one of you who's even thinking of breaking into my house. Again. This baby bites. Hard.

For some strange reason, he seems to like looking at photos of himself. Super vain!

It was a summer like no other =) Best one ever.

So that's it. I've gotta head back to work, am starting ENT rotation next week!

Have a great week ahead, everybody =) Love y'all!

Caesar Salad says: " OLA HUMANS~!"

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