Greetings from the land of Greece!

Today during anatomy dissection class, professor PJ Farrell called me a "bloodthirsty little girl" because he caught me ripping open a skull to get to the eyeball in a manner somewhat similar to a hungry wolf digging into a bloody steak.
Me? Bloodthirsty?
Well, if that's what it takes to get my hands on a scalpel and an eyeball to dissect, I take being called bloodthirsty, selfish, thickfaced or whatever anytime. Better than sitting at a corner watching other people do the fun job of cutting the eyeball open instead. We are Asians! We can cut! (Owkayy... I don't know what being an Asian got to do with cutting eyeballs, but ah what the heck, yeah! Take that all you big-sized-Asian-elbowing angmoh bohlangs!! Hehe!)

Anyway, I'm here with my butt on the chair, coming up with whatever random thoughts that I could think of, and noting them down because people are thinking that I'm MIA because I'm either studying too hard, or "partying" too hard, which in my opinion NEITHER are true (especially the latter, I stress!!).
I just... need more hours. Like, 36 hours a day or something. I'm sure plenty out there would agree with me on this, no?

Here's a little (understatement hint hint) update on what I have been up to for the past 1 month :

"Business" trip to London and to attend the UKEC Annual General Meeting was a blast. And even though we did spend 10 hours confined in a room, I must say it's definitely an eye-opener. Here's a scene of the AGM in progress during Day 1. We were erm... passing motion. *giggles* (oh, me and my medical brain!)

And I must say, I did meet the most unexpected of the unexpected there. For example...Lim Boon Seong 林文松 whom I didn't recognise until towards the end of the meeting on the first day. He was one of my primary school friends in SRJKC Desa Jaya whom I did not expect to meet ever again. Soo wrong!

And guess who was a stowaway...

Here's a few random shots of various highlights of events that happened recently in Dublin. Duno why, everytime I look at these pictures, I just can't help but smile to myself. They all look so warm!

I want a hardcore neurosurgeon for a husband who would draw anatomical diagrams on our bedroom wall.
I want a hardcore neurosurgeon who would stay up all night with me.
I want a hardcore neurosurgeon who can stand for 21 hours in a surgery.
I want a hardcore neurosurgeon who believes that the impossible is possible when all others say no.
I want a hardcore neurosurgeon who is a badass rogue.
I want a hardcore neurosurgeon who can make his boss who fired him speechless by calmly telling him to go home, sleep and talk about it tomorrow.

If I can't find that kind of guy, I want to be that guy.

Grey's Anatomy Season 6 episode 7 - Give Peace A Chance. A must watch. Am I inspired or what!





Current Mood :

Britannia is tired.
Britannia hates human's head and neck with all its horrible nerves and arteries and veins.
Britannia wants to get tomorrow's cardsigning test over with ASAP.
Britannia wants to sleep.

Rachel needs to stop making Britannia study for her and get back to work!!!!



Current Mood :

(pronounced /əˌlɛksəˈθaɪmiə/) a state of deficiency in understanding, processing, or describing emotions.

THIS IS A NON-EMO POST. There are no emotions involved.

I feel indifferent.
I don't feel like talking nor even bother being talked to.
I just can't seem to care about anything.
I find myself smiling alot. Which is scary coz sometimes, I don't mean it. Which makes me a big fat hyprocrite (and I dislike hypocrites, and I try not to be one, but with me smiling serenely when inside I am scowling makes me one, which is ironic, and I'm now blabbering nonsense)
I can't express any emotions at all.
I find myself stoning through small talks during functions/events (which are a social-must or else you're the pathetic one). Yet I don't care anymore, and I'm actually thinking about things like why some humans have bigger noses than the rest or something as ridiculous like that (with a glazed look)
I can't even laugh at Russell Peter's attempts at making jokes.

This transient alexithymic-like periods seem to be coming on more often than usual.

So God, take control please.

Maybe, I just need to sleep and refill my sugar level.

Current Mood :

Today, I bought a pair of adorable sparkly pink baby flats for just €1. Don't ask me why. I don't know why I did either. It's one of those things you do when you do irrational things. It was on sale, and I just thought it was waay too cute to pass.

When I placed the pair of baby shoes on the counter (that was the only purchase I made), the saleslady actually took a few seconds to stare at it and then me before scanning it. Then as I was digging through my bag for my wallet, I thought she actually looked somewhat... odd? Something like disapproval or some sort. I didn't know why, but I think I have an idea why now. =P

Oopsie, doopsie! Rachel's having a baby!! Hehe!!

ANYWAY!!

IT'S FRIDAAY NIGHT!! Finally! Too bad, I just passed off an invitation to a dinner party and a baking session tonight because I'm just too mentally/physically drained to attempt at using my feet/mouth/hands/brains. I think they've fallen asleep. Not to mention having any strength left to socialize. I need my ATPs for tomorrow's party and Sunday and the long week ahead :(

Instead, I am going to take a nice long nap with my camomile face mask and eat tubes of yoghurt.

Oh, and nail colour of the week is :

Now, facial mask therapy and a nice long zzzzzzzzzzzzz.......

Hurrah to FRIDAYS!!!!

That's all, folks.

Current Mood :

Once upon a time, I use to assume, with the amount of blood one female loses per month, multiplied by 12 months a year, and give let's say 30 years of menstruation per female... the amount of blood accumulated would probably be sufficient to start a blood bank. So why can't they?? Like, doing filter processing machines similar to hydrofilters which filter our drinking water.

Cool Nobel-worthy idea eh? ;P

Then yet again, now come to think of it, who'd want to be the recipient of recycled blood eh? =D

*Laughs manically at own brilliance*

Anyway....
One fine day last week, my uterine wall decided that it was the perfect time of the month to shed its walls, causing me yet again another week of uneasiness and lack of energy. And of course, no white pants for the week.

Though this time, I was unprepared. During the first day, I discovered (to my horror) my usual supply of sanitary pads seemed to have disappeared. Mice must have stolen them to build their nests or something. Or Evelyn took them to mop up spilt water? Lol.
But no way am I going out in my bloody underwear to the pharmacy to buy more.

And then I remembered that in the freshers goodies bag which I smuggled back (even though I'm a sophomore now, can't resist the freebies!!) probably would have a sample pad or so.

Little did I know, it turned out a little bit different this year :

After reading the package carefully, I decided that this new yet potentially traumatic experience wasn't really worth it.


Plus, on the package back it was printed in capitals :

Mamamia.
"Back into the freshers bag you go, you bag of evil "penises"."

Bloody underwear or not, I am NOT going to stick something up any part of my orifice, prematurely. Call me old-fashioned, but I think I'd prefer using the er... conventional ones.

And suddenly I'm uncomfortably reminded of the not too little number of younger-aged/non-medic readers who would probably find my choice of words... blunt?


Oh and thanks to suggestions of many, I have reached a decision - tampons shall be used to clean tight spots in kitchen stoves.


Current Mood :

Okay, first let me get this straight :

I am NOT undergoing major stress in any form whatsoever, nor gonna suffer any mental breakdown. God has been gracious and good, my life is peaceful and I am very happy with the way I'm living my life now. There are a few days when I feel kinda sucky, but that doesn't make me emo 24/7. =) But nevertheless, I wanna hug all you people who cared when I felt horrible. You all know who you are. *hugs to every single one of you*

2nd year in Med school is oddly calm and carefree, with plenty of free time for us 2nd years. Free time for us to choose between sitting in the library, shopping for groceries, taking naps between classes etc. Which I find a little hard to get used to and somewhat... strange? It's an odd feeling. Sure, I can work like hell and slave away burying myself in my books like I did last year. But then again, I realised that part of me thinks that life is way too short to just forego every other chance that passes by. And yeah, I guess that's also thanks to someone's words of wisdom and experience too :)

We've another 4 years in medical school before hitting the life of horrible leftovers, 36 hour on-call duties, sharp decline in social life etc (that is for those who choose to remain single) As for those who are fortunate to start a family, well then, time juggling between family and career then. And a whole lot of other challenges.

Anyway, if we were to be doctors, I am for one not going to be a doctor with poor eyesight, bad skin condition, serious lack of nutrition, stressed-and scrunched up facial skin, balding grey hair and wearing 10-day-old underwear. No sir-ee.


Doctors should look good and confident. Not sad, sarcastic or grumpy.
Patients want happy doctors. And sexy doctors too.


Okay, a little too far-fetched. But you get my point =)

Now, with that cleared up, on to what life is all about now! So yeah, I'm now busying myself with attending lectures, studying, getting involved with activities in college, spending time with old friends and new friends, cooking good and healthy food, shopping, reading up on other non-academic related stuff etc.

You might ask why I seem to be "slacking" (trust me, this ain't slacking!). Well, let's just put it this way - Calm before The Storm. This semester is relatively easier than first year's, and more of a time for us to hitch up our trousers and prepare for the upcoming torturous semesters where we'll be stationed in hospitals till 5th years.

Yesterday night, we decided to take our juniors out for a night out at Octoberfest. And although I wasn't fond of German beer (or any beer for that matter), grooving on the dance floor to old-school songs like Mambo #5, Grease Lightning, Beatles songs, ABBA etc is just so exhilarating!
Octoberfest - Where flowing beer, German sausages, drunken Irish/German/god-knows-what-other-people gather and dance the night away!!!



And just when you feel a little sucky, God sends little things through different people to paste the smile back on your face :)

So here's to all of you again. Love God to the max, live life to the max, smile to the max =D

Francis introduced this guy to me and I fell for instantaneously.
Gorgeous voice, gorgeous looks, gorgeous brains (Yale student, don't play play).


What's not to like with those 3 combo?? Lol!

You know, I have never really realised how much we have steered away from God. How much we idolise worldly things, replacing them instead of God. That itself is a sin itself, yet we never fail to realise that it's exactly what we have been doing all along.

Pastor John has spoke countless times on idolatry (no, not Americon Idol). How we idolise things like studies, exams, relationships, lust, work, family, money, ambition etc, displacing God from His rightful place in our lives. Idolising something isn't just about bowing down to something solid, something you can see. It's about putting an object/feeling for something/someone before God.

Now, I've heard of satanic/demonic possessions, and how the possessed becomes frantic and insane during demonic castings, but I've never really seen one. Until today, Gan posted up a video on FB which rendered me speechless. This boy threw a fit when he discovered that his mother cancelled his online W.O.W. account




The way how he screamed doesn't even sound human. And how he tried to hurt himself.
God forbid my brothers/anyone I love or know would ever become like that. Especially not over an online game account.


Current Mood :

I realised that I have been pretty distracted lately with some stuff in my mind, which I would say have been so for quite some time. But I decided that it's fine time I push them away. Concentrate on God, on my life, rather than on my thoughts.
God has been gracious and everything so far has been rosy. Life so far has been really hectic, and busy busy busy!! With research, summer vacations, now orientations, tours, settling household stuff.


But then, summer has ended, and 2nd year med starts now.
So time to bring out the bibi guns,
build up them emotional barricades once again.
I'm all lock and loaded,
Bring it on, babeh!!

But then hor.... why do I still feel like I'm dreaming???


On a side note,
I never bothered about girly-ish stuff like make up thingies. But then hor, I recently developed an interest in this fantabulous thing called EYELINER. It really enhances your looks(At all the wrong places!!) You'll see what I mean.

Check out the little fun time I had with B the other day.

Oh, and special shoutout to darling Zhuang Xiao, Shuxin, Ben, Vincent, Jeshua, and the rest :) All the best settling into your new school, new home, new life :)



Nighty-o! Cheerios!

Current Mood :

No, I'm still in Milano now... Doing fine here, will be returning to Dublin real soon!

After few days in Milan, I feel slightly less Chinese and more Italian. Though, most of the time we can't understand much (especially menus), and I even mixed up French terms with Italian! I non capisco!!!!!


Now, while my friends are playing farting games on the bed in our hotel *rolls eyes*, I am quietly sitting at a corner of the room, being termed "anti-social" for not joining in the farting chorus, making use of the free wifi. Gotta go now though, and catch some sleep!

Ciao!!


Current Mood : Zzzzzzzz...............

Just when you're down, God still loves me by showing me that there will always be people to love me.

- by Natasha Beddingfield

I was once the girl...

-Who had her head hit with a bag by a bully in a bus but dared not cry.
-Who had to go to the canteen and buy everyone's drumsticks and nuggets and french fries during break time and deliver them, ending up with no break time for myself.
-Who once sat in the toilet cubicle studying alone during tea breaks.
-Who was pushed around by people of the higher rank ordering her to do their work.
-Who laughs it off when people throw insults/gossips at her face.
-Who smiles even when she's hurting inside.


Well guess what, after all these years, I'm still the same girl. The only difference is that, I wear a mask this time which veils whatever emotions I have.


Today, I was really hurt by something that wasn't anyone's fault. And mad. And frustrated. And on the verge of bursting into tears. I nearly nearly did. Yet I smiled and said it's alright even though I was screaming inside the blardy heck it wasn't alright.

Worse thing was, I felt like such a hypocrite. I actually smiled and hugged a person whom I didnt even feel like hugging at all. I felt bad for feeling so afterwards.

Was supposed to leave work at 6pm, but at 3pm, I just packed my things, left the lab, and went home. I felt like I was wasting my time. Useless and pathetic at the same time.

I do know that my home is actually thousands of miles home, where the people I love are and would know what to do/say to make me feel better. Here, my home's empty.

While walking home along Grafton Street, the cold air and the surrounding sights and sounds would normally cheer me up after a bad day. But I just felt as horrible as ever.

But then God worked his magic. I got caught by a busker on the street who is a puppeteer. Somehow I just stopped and watch him and his puppet. They both made me smile, and the tears that were pooling about just disappeared.

And as usual, passing by the florist stalls and smelling the flowers helped to lift the mood.

I felt much better when I reached home, compared to the previous 15 minutes ago.
And He made me think. This is actually a taste of what the real world is like. The working world. So you lose a multimillion dollar deal. You get sued by a patient. You get stabbed at the back without even knowing it. C'est la vie. Learn to deal with it and move on.

Thank you Lord.

Now, I shall push the entire horrible day out of my mind. Waiting for my dear Gan and Elijah to come back, and we'll all go for a night out and have some fun. TGIF. I shall not think about it anymore :)

Current Mood :

God is wonderful in many ways that I don't even know where to start.

Last week, this friend of mine was seeking answers he was aching to find, although he was yet to be a believer. God spoke to him in many ways, and just being part of it makes me feel awed.
So here is to you, my friend : Don't shut your heart just yet. Listen, and open your heart, and you'll find Him right there all along waiting for you.

Apart from that, all's well. Research is a little bit on the slow side, but I'm keeping my hopes up, and hoping to learn more from Tanya and Professor Duffy. For example, I've been sitting here today, reading and reading and reading. Cells weren't ready, so I wasn't able to work on them just yet :( And reading on luciferases and EDACs the whole day isn't doing any good to my brains. Ah well, I guess I'll think of this as oiling up my brain for the coming semester.
*why'd anyone name an enzyme luciferase?? Sounds like Lucifer... so evil =.=

I'm living the bachelor's life now, staying in an apartment alone. It can get a little creepy when the boiler's chugging away loudly, or when there's scratches outside, or when the wind howls, and me curled up in my bed eating salmon slices (lately i'm addicted to salmon) and watching horror movies. :D But other than that, it's pretty cosy and comfy, and I'm definitely getting used to it. :)

The change of temperature from extreme heat to extreme cold once again leaves its effect on my facial skin - all peeled and cracked. It's so wrecked I resemble a cornflake again. Need to stock up on Simple moisturisers again sigh.

Mom has been sms-ing me every morning with little reminders and news and such. Can't blame her, she misses her best friend already :P

Dad is in Perth attending a reunion with his old Bristol christian fellowship friends. May God keep all those dratted viruses away from him and his friends!!

And missing all of you back in Malaysia and those who are everywhere elsewhere. Miss you love you hug you kiss you.

Sigh...

Anyway, been having some fun cooking/baking sessions with the Malaysians who are back in Dublin with me.

1. Jian Gang's birthday not-so-surprise

Jian Gang turned 20, and so Yvonne and I decided to bake him a cake as a surprise. And at 12am, Elijah was supposed to lead him over and we'll plop the surprise on him. Mana tau the smartyass had to go and curi curi read my hp sms inbox and accidentally found out about the entire plan (Don't you just hate ppl reading your smses??) So no more surprise. Bah. The evil nincompoop. Still, it was pretty nice staying up till 4am just yakking and snacking. Too bad the next day I woke up with a cold. Gah.

2. Cooking session at Elijah's
Since Gan arrived at Dublin, and Elijah was all geared up for the next day, Yvonne and I decidede that it would be cool if we had our own homecooked dinner, fancy style.
Presenting...


And after 3 hours of slaving in the kitchen.......




Tune in for more!


Current Mood :

Once upon a time, there were beloved parents who would come running whenever I'm in distress. I'd say so for every one else out there.
That was once upon a time. Once upon a time's gone. I'm all alone now once again, far away from home.

I had one heck of a homecoming present in Dublin.


I got locked out of my apartment building at 12am with no keys, no cash, no handphone, no luggages, no food. That was right after I arrived in Dublin from the airport. Thank God Tyson who stayed just a few blocks away let me bunk at his place for the night, or else I'd seriously be lying dead at some gutter. And since my landlady wasn't available till Friday, the only option left was to call the locksmith the next morning, which cost me a friggin 100 euro. Sigh... Talk about settling down. I don't suppose any of you would understand the feeling of being trapped out of your own building with no one to call nor nothing to call with. That panic feeling was one heck of a friggin experience, I tell you!!

And did I tell you I nearly missed my flight to Dublin too? Imagine running from one end of a Heathrow terminal (heathrow - calculate the size people) to another just because I misread Gate 84 as Gate 8a. That's one heck of a distance to be covered in 5 minutes before my flight took off. That panic feeling was... well, repeat the above statement.

So, who do I call for at times like these? I can't call my parents, nor my friends. The only one I had with me all those times was God alone. And without him, screwed I'd be. And so freaked out. I must say, amidst all those chaos and panic, somehow at the back of my mind I knew God would make a way (of course, that didn't stop my heart from being tachycardic). I've so so much to thank Him for. *contented sigh*

Point is, I'm in my apartment safe and sound, and much to thank God for. Looking foward to you Dubliners coming back!


And now, I'm off to do my research work in College. Tune in for more updates!! Love ya!



Current Mood :

Dear all,
This is Rachel Nge reporting live from London Heathrow after a 12-journey flight from KL, which I must say was pretty pleasant due to lively conversations with a British biotechnician about hearts and pacemakers, and free flow of soda and salmon (that's coz I was seated right next to the cabin pantry hehe!) And God knows how many rounds of Tetris games and in-flight movies.

Time now is 6.25pm, and I'm sitting alone in an inconspicuous corner of a very quaint French restaurant called Rouge Café while waiting for my next flight to Dublin. Love this cafe, very cosy and quiet and Frenchy. There's this handsome waiter with a French accent who's serving my table. Love the accent. I'm on my second course now, and I doubt that deseart would find any roomn in my tummy along the salmon, in flight food and the first course. Something would definitely have to go out.
And as I'm typing now, there's a very beautiful blond baby boy cooing and waving at me across the restaurant. His cheeks look like tomatoes.

Anyway, so here's to the official end of summer holidays in Malaysia. It has been wonderful, especially hanging out with my family and meeting up with you all darlings whom I love and miss already. Be sure to catch the remaining Week 5-8"Little notes off my Journal" which I have yet to find time to blog about.

Oooh, here comes the handsome waiter again... and offers me parmesan cheese with that very adorable smile and Pink-Panther style accent. And there he goes... Anyway, so where was I?

Ah yes. So I'll be living alone in my new 2-bedroom apartment until Evelyn my new housemate comes and join me at the end of September. Will be spring cleaning the place and redecorating it throughout the month and then, I'll post up some pictures for you all to see. It's nothing as fancy as other apartments in Dublin, but it's definitely very cosy. :D

Anyway, so here's to the past 3 months of total bliss.
Here's to another 1 more month of research and relaxation.
Here's to a new term, a new semester.
Here's to friends whom I love and always will, thanks for loving me too.
Here's to you all.


God bless.

I just cancelled my desert. I'm so so full I can puke. Vanilla cheesecake with blackcurrent sauce - good gracious, even thinking about it already makes my buttons pop!


Current Mood :

Today I went shopping and I realised something :

The hardest things to shop for are bras.

They're either too stiff, too heavy, too big, too tight, too loose, too starchy, too colourful. And the measurements are just so friggin confusing!! It doesn't help either when the saleslady is treating you like some teenager with newly-acquired boobs, and keep throwing every single bra at you, none your size.

I think next time I go bra-shopping, I shall choose a cup bigger, so I have enough room to store my purse and handphone in it so I don't need to carry a bag around.


Sometimes I wish I'm a guy. No boobs to bother about.



Current Mood :

Lately I've been having this weird feeling towards my boys.
I want to hold them close/lock them up and throw away the key/hide them and kick away all those stupid females crowing around them.

I know it's none of my B.I. business and I should just stay out of it.
I can't help it. I'm feeling both jealous and protective.
Yet at the same time, it amuses me so much that I can't help smiling.
Just looking at the pictures of those pre-puberty adolescent females make me feel like puking already.

STAY AWAY FROM MY BOYS!!
(now I know how my mom feels)



Current Mood :

I want to go back to Ireland now.
Far away from here.
From all these people and their madness.
Anyway, I think I'm mad now. Or going to. I need to do something.



Current Mood :

I feel like mashed potatoes.
And I look like crap.

For 4 days I've been confined within the 4 walls of my room, with occasional shuttling back and forth from the bathroom. Other than that, I've yet to roam round my house, let alone outside the walls our my house.

Why?

It's because I'm down with a dratted flu. Before you all go screaming in the name of the pig, let me assure you that it's unlikely that I've got the H1N1 virus. Doctor's assurance. So there.

What have I been doing? Well, I've finished 3 seasons of Smallville, read novel after novel, stalked almost everyone's profiles and blogs and photo albums I can practically memorise everyone's information, and read up on useless-to-me facts such as top 10 most cruel experiments on mankind, progerias, and peanuts.

And I've been going through all my old photos. Realised that I've not blogged about quite alot of stuff, but then don't know where to start either. Ah well.

Anyway, today's the 4th day of isolation. Fever's gone. Still a little bit of phelgm, but other than that, I'm feeling positively...rachel :D Muchas gracias God for killing those dratted viruses!

But i'm so so so so LONELY!!!! 4 days no human contact!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No hugs no kisses no laughters no tickles!!! :'(
It didn't help either when some people just totally ignore you as if you don't even exist. I should be used to it by now I know, but somehow I feel a little...I don't know, hurt? Offended? It's okay, I tell myself. They're probably busy eh? :) Probably it's my fault too for ignoring them too. Ah this ignoring game has gotta stop. Lol.

I can't wait to get out again. I need to be around people, else I'll be thinking too much. See ya peeps soon! <3



Current Mood :

Or maybe you like Disney? They have awesome parades, awesome floats and awesome costumes.



Maybe you like art? They have everything from street artists...



Anyway, there has gotta be thousands of art pieces in the museum, and I can't very well post every single one up :)




That was before the snow melted and wetted our socks and shoes. Walking around in squishy shoes isn't fun AT ALL!!! >.<


One thing we didn't catch was the famous Moulin Rouge Cabaret. How'd you fancy a 3 course meal + Moulin Rouge show for a minimum €150? spending nearly a 1000 ringgit on a dinner, lol, such luxury I don't feel right in indulging just yet as a student. But in the future I will, it's worth checking out.
1. They have awesome blingy outfits which will make people go blind and men noses bleed.
2. The can can dancers' balls seem to have no pain receptors at all. Probably made out of rubber.
3. Snakes swimming with naked woman.




Lovely week, lovely company, lovely country with lovely people. Will definitely visit again!


Big thankyous to Yiyun, Evelyn and Jasmine for photos because the stupid Rachel forgot to bring her camera T.T

Current Mood :